i found - niall horan

~ chapter five ~

soooo this is a longish chapter, but i didn't want to split it.
credits to one direction for the song, i didn't write it obvs. and yeah, enjoy, x

Trigger warning: selfharm

5 February

Niall's p.o.v

Don't.

Keep going.

Don't do it.

Do it.

Stop.

Small cuts formed on my bony hips and I hissed in pain.

"Fuck," I muttered. This really hurt.

Slowly a small smile formed on my lips, the emotional pain slowly slipping away, being replaced with physical pain - which felt much better.

When I finished I cleaned the cuts and pulled on a big maroon sweater, covering my scarred hips.

-

Juliette's p.o.v

"Hey." I say, tapping Charles on his shoulder. He slowly lifts his head, but when he sees me he yanks away his body.

"Get away from me." he hisses and my heart aches.

"Charles, I didn't mean to hurt you, but -"

"But you did. And didn't I tell you to never speak my name again?" he pushes me out of the way and I stumble back a few steps. A sigh leaves my lips as I start making my way to History. I walk up the steps, looking down at my feet when a foot suddenly comes into my view, tripping me. I fall down, my head hitting the side of the steps. I cry out in pain, holding my hand to my head when I look up to see who tripped me.

"Bella?" I ask in shock, seeing the tall blonde towering over me.

"Stay away from us, bitch." Elle says, looking to Bella before walking off. Bella quickly follows her sister and I hold back the tears welling up in my eyes. Slowly I get up from the cold floor and continue making my way to class.

When I reach the class the door is closed and I hesitantly place my hand on the knob. I slowly turn it, but of fucking course it's locked. I was late and they locked the door. Slowly I slide down the door, pulling my knees to my chest. Tears cascade down my cheeks and my breathing is uneven. My anxiety was back, and slowly but surely depression was also slipping through the seames of reality.

-

Who's gonna be the first one to start the fight / Who's gonna be the first one to fall asleep at night / Who's gonna be the last one to drive away / Who's gonna be the last one to forgot this place.

Slowly the words flow from my pen onto my notebook. A few tears were staining the pages, making the ink flow with one another. My phone vibrates from next to me and I grab it, slipping back into reality.

Juleybaby: i need you.

I bite my tongue, trying my best not to reply. She didn't need me. She didn't need my problems. She could find someone much better who only loves and cares for her, who doesn't have a disfunctional father, who doesn't fucking cut.

So I don't reply. I just carry on scribbling random lyrics down in my book until my phone vibrates again. Luckily this time it's from Ashton, the guy I work with.

Ash: Jamie just left, can you please come in? sorry man, but Carson said he's gonna fire me if I don't get someone.

Niall: sure. see you in a few ash.