(ON HOLD) Bit of carnage and a helluva time (helluva boss x male carnage reader)

Oops!

Asmodeus grows embarrassed and turns his head away from the video.

Crimson: We both know you won't risk anything happening to the clown. So be a good little bitch and do the thing. My lawyers will be over shortly with the contract of demands. You have until the witching hour to sign it. Hueheheheheheheh! Now cut. I SAID CUT IT YA FUCKIN' MORON!

The phone falls back on the table. The whole room shakes and Asmodeus ignites in rage. Stola backs away as Asmodeus roars making the whole room glow with a beam of fire. The transition shows Alessio giving Crimson a lighter to smoke a cigar. He walks off while a mafia goon throws Fizzarolli in a cage with Blitza which Striker is on top of. Fizzarolli stammers in fear while Blitza scoots back.

Blitza: Oh chill out jester. Christ on a stick it's like you've never been tied up before!

Fizzarolli: Sure but not by a bunch of psychos! And a piece of shit!

Blitza: Am I...? Okay am I the psycho or the piece of shit?

Fizzarolli: Both!

Blitza: Yeah that checks.

Fizzarolli: How is this happening?! I was just supposed to grab some gas station milk and rehearse some juggling...!

Blitza: Oh relax, I'm sure your big royal chicken ain't gonna let anything happen to his peppy lil' fuckdoll.

Fizzarolli gets frustrated and sits up straight to scoot in front of Blitza.

Fizzarolli: Ohh playin' that card huh? Ok... What about you? Seems your tastes have gotten more... "regal" lately. Heheh and don't forget about Y/N neither.

Blitza: Yeah, well unlike you I fuck who I want when I want. I'm not gonna be tied down to some big blue-blood asshole or pinned to the wall by some red goo tentacles.

Fizzarolli: You could've fooled me the way princey was cozying up to you at Ozzie's.

Blitza: Hey! Stola only cares about having a rugged peasant raw-dog her into her mattress, it's nothing... y'know...(sighs) It's nothing else...

Fizzarolli: Then why were you even there?

Blitza: (sweating) OTHER very important reasons of course!

Fizzarolli: Whatever I don't actually care.

Blitza: I mean Stola is just a loud thirsty bitch who loves feeling the thrill of getting fucked by the lower class. It's a novelty to her.

Fizzarolli: ...Literally just said I don't care.

Blitza: And then she'll call me to see how my day was and she'll pretend to care about me and Y/N and comment on my photos and LAUGH AT MY JOKES-

Fizzarolli: (sarcastic) Oh! Well that's "definitely" your clue right there that it's all bullshit.

Blitza: I KNOW, RIGHT? Se's just a fake privileged asshole!

Fizzarolli: Sounds like you just hate her for being a princess. Because no one and I mean no one pretends to care that much just for a cheap lay.

Blitza: Point is royal demons don't give a shit about guys like us. They're all the fuckin' same.

Fizzarolli: That's not...! A-always true... But I guess you're right. They can't all be the same if some have taste and some wanna fuck you.

Blitza: Can we talk about something other than my sex life? Satan's taint is fucking that Lust girl make this what you're all about now?!

Fizzarolli: YOU brought it up asshole!

Striker bangs on their cage interrupting them.

Striker: WOULD YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY?! Bicker like a couple of teen skanks...As far as I'm concerned you two are BOTH embarrassments to our kind for meddling with blue-bloods to begin with. (sighs) But at least loud-mouth here has the sense to only fuck her rich bitch instead of being a little purse dog.