You Just Love To Hate Me || Ricky 'Horror' Olson (EDITING)

Chapter 21: Will You Remember Me After The Lights Go Out

We parted and walked out of the door, down the stairs and out of the front door, yelling a loud goodbye to my band as we did so. We jumped in the car, Ricky driving since he says I'm a 'reckless driver' and he 'doesn't want to be in a car that I'm driving because I'll end up killing him.'

Ricky drove carefully as I groaned at how slow he was going. "The speed limits twenty not two," I groaned.

"Leave me to drive legally Miss 'I drive twenty miles per hour over the limit and think it's okay beside I haven't been caught yet,'" He mimicked.

"Shut up," I scoffed, but left a smile on my face so he knew I understood it was a joke, something a lot of girls have trouble doing.

"Anyway," Ricky sang. I raised an eyebrow at him. "Collarbones or wrists?"

"I don't know because collarbones would hurt more and be more visible to Chris who would flip out, but the wrist isn't showy enough and isn't special enough." I sighed.

"I think we should do the collarbones," Ricky told me. "Fuck what anyone else thinks right? Yeah, sure Chris might be angry for a bit, but who gives a fuck? It's our relationship not his. If you're really that worried you can cover it up around him, but this is a special thing for us to symbolise all we've been through and overcame together. This is for us."

"Okay," I nodded, a massive smile stretched across my face. "Let's do it. I won't cover it up either because this is for us and it's my life not his, I'm an adult and he can't control me! Plus I have too many other tattoos on my arms it wouldn't stand out, I have none on my collarbones or around it."

"Neither do I and I want everyone to know that you're my girl and it's gonna stay that way," Ricky smiled proudly and unlike it did with Jack, I didn't feel sick when he spoke about so much closer commitment, but instead I felt at ease. I felt safe.

I don't think I loved Jack because the way I feel about Ricky and the way he makes me feel is something I've never experienced. It's indescribable yet I could go on forever about it, but I wouldn't be able to capture the feeling just right because you'll never know it until you experience it yourself. I thought what I had with Jack was love, but it wasn't, it was lust. I was addicted to the need to fuck him and that's why I couldn't keep my hands off of him. With Ricky it's different: I waited to make sure the sex was special, we aren't constantly touching and although we cuddle a lot it's just a comfort thing it never leads anywhere.

I know it's only been a short while, but I know I love Ricky and I know I did before the accident too because I feel like there's so much more to this relationship than I know, it's buried deep in the rubble of my broken memories and I'm trying desperately to dig them out. Every time Ricky tells me a story I visualise it and it feels real, almost as if I remember it, but I don't.. It's like when you read a book and you feel as if you are there with that character, like their guardian angel, guiding them and watching them yet you're never seen nor noticed, you're not there.

You'd think I'd be scared about having feelings as strong as this, but I'm not scared just like I wasn't scared of growing up because as far as my brain is concerned, I've always been an adult and I never grew up I was just there. Sometimes I feel like they tell me I was in an accident to hide the fact I was born a totally mature adult and although it's impossible, it feels most logical to me because it's so hard to imagine I had so many years of life, so many memories that others remember and made such big influences on people I don't even remember when I don't remember any of it. Not one bit.

"Vamp?" Ricky whispered as he shook me awake from my day dream. "We're here."

I nodded and unbuckled my seatbelt then climbed out of the car. Ricky met me at the front of the car and entwined our hands, walking us towards the entrance of the tattoo shop. I feel almost dependent on Ricky like I know I'd be fine on my own if I didn't know Ricky, but now that I have him, he's consumed my whole life along with everything in it.

The bell on the door jingled as I pushed it open. We walked to the front desk to be met with a woman with long, black hair, lots of piercings and two tattoo sleeves, chewing gum and typing on her computer. She looked up as we walked towards her and a friendly smile graced her face.

"Can I help you dearies?" She asked in a southern drawl.

"We have appointments," Ricky said.

"Name?"

"Ricky Olson and Vamp Rebel," Ricky said.

She nodded and typed a few things in on the computer then looked back up at us with another warm smile. "If y'all could go take a seat over there for me," She motioned to the plastic waiting chairs, "Angelo will be ready for you in a moment Ricky and he will be doing both your tattoos and Megan will be doing yours Vamp. They're both lovely and you will be in the same room for the first one then you will be moved off into a separate room for your second Ricky," She smiled and went back to typing on the computer.

"Both artists are amazing. Ange has done many of my tattoos and Megan is so talented. She did the one on your brothers leg."

"The one for my grandfather," I whispered. He nodded and placed a hand on me knee. "She's amazing," I said in awe, very happy she will be doing my tattoo.

"So are you changing your name to Vamp Rebel?"

"No," I shook my head. "That will only be a stage name. I'm changing my first name to Vamp, but I'm keeping my second name because I've made up with Chris now and I don't want to disconnect myself from my parents and family like that."

"That's a good choice. I'm proud of you," He smiled.

"Thank you Ricky it means a lot," I smiled back and rested my head on his shoulder for a moment then lifted it up as I saw a girl covered in tattoos, bright red and black hair and fewer piercings come out of a room.

"Guys," She smiled at us, more at me, "We're ready for you."