The Nature of Love

Chapter 20

Copyright (c) 2015 Phyllis Zimbler Miller

All rights reserved.

Gov. George C. Wallace (D, Ala.) announced his withdrawal from the race for the U.S. Senate seat held by retiring Sen. John J. Sparkman (D, Ala.). -- May 16, 1978

Jennifer's Story

1978

     "Steve, I need to talk to you."

     "Yes, dear," he says.

     I wait for him to raise his eyes from the book. He doesn't.

     "Could you close the book please and look at me? I really need you to listen."

     "I always listen to you." Steve closes the book, inserting his index finger as a bookmark.

     I lean towards him across the kitchen table. "I want you to move out -- I want to separate. And then I want a divorce.'

     "What?" His finger slips from the book. For once he is listening.

     "I don't want to be married any longer to you."

     "Are you out of your mind? It's your father, right? You're upset because of your father."

     I scrape at a sticky spot on the table with my index finger, the same one on which Steve placed his ring at our wedding ceremony. "Yes, I am upset about my father. But that's not why I want a divorce. I want a divorce because we no longer love each other. My father's death just made me realize what I've known for a long time."

     Now Steve slams his book down on the table. "Don't be ridiculous! Whether we love each other isn't the issue. We're a family. How can you even think of subjecting the children to the humiliations of divorce?"

     Keep your voice calm. Show how reasonable you are. "I've given this a great deal of thought. I'm an historian, after all. I'm well aware of the studies done over the years on children from broken homes."

     "And?"

     "And what?"

     "What does your research show?"

     "Forget about the research. I want to talk about us."

     "We are talking about us. How you want to add our children to the statistics of children under 10 living in single-parent homes. Probably the single most significant cause of a myriad of ills in American society today."

     Spoken as a true scientist. Don't challenge him. This is going to be hard enough.

     "I thought you could move into an apartment near the university. We'll work out a schedule of when you see the children. You'll probably see them more than you do now, given you rarely see them awake."

     His eyes bore into hers. "I'll fight you every step of the way. You're going to regret this."

***

     "It's so nice of you to come back to visit so soon," my mother says as I lead the girls into what's now my mother's house. "I know how busy you are."

     I nod, unwilling to lie, to say I wanted to see how my mother's doing. This will be a difficult yet necessary visit. Some things are better said in person.

     "Can we watch television, Grandma?" Leah asks.

     My mother smiles at the children. "Do you know how to turn the tv set on in the den?"