What My Bingeing did to Me

How Far is too Far?

    You reach into the bag. Your lips slowly open readily awaiting another double chocolate chip cookie. Your tired mouth begins to salivate once again. As you reach in further you find the bag to be rather empty. On closer inspection you find just a small handful of crumbs inside. You lay back on your bed facing the ceiling. Then begin to contemplate what led you here.
    About a year ago you were the hottest girl in school. However, after high school ended you began to become less and less active as time went by. Once you were on the cheerleading squad, working out and running for hours, and you enjoyed your favorite part of this lifestyle, flirting with boys.
    Then high school ended, and over time you traded working out for staying home and eating bigger portions of food. You found yourself lonely and stuck with a mixture of disappointment and sadness in living. Food had become a comfort. You'd start to order fast food to your door. What once was a single burger became 2, 3, 4, and now what you normally eat, 5. At first you didn't even notice the new pounds, but once you did you didn't really care. Food was what made you happy, and if you would gain some weight in the process you believed I'd be well worth it. Your small frame had grown to accommodate your newfound hunger. Your belly now sagged below your waistline, and you now sported a muffin top. Your breasts, once small and perky, have now began to sag, forcing you to wear a bigger bra size. Those small and attractive legs that made the boys go wild have turned into certified thunder thighs. Meanwhile your face has a new feature, being the small amount of fat that has formed below your chin.
    You've hidden yourself from the outside world since you noticed your new weight. Your friends, family and anyone else you do or do not know has rarely seen you.
    You sit up coming to a conclusion. You should lose weight. Well, how could you? Even if you workout for hours a day, you know that as soon as you got home that you would raid your house, collecting armfuls of food, and proceed to stuff yourself so full that you can hardly move without hurting. In fact that very thing has become a common occurrence. Soon after eating all that food you'd fall asleep comfortably. In the morning you'd wake up feeling fulfilled. The conclusion you came to wasn't even feasible. There was no way that you'd ever lose weight. Your life depends on your new habits. Happiness is the most important thing to you, without it what is the point of this life.
    However, you have come to enjoy a few things such as; your increased happiness, how curvy you have become, and that now you aren't hit on as much. In your eyes you see little wrong with this new experience. The only question is how far will you go?