Here I Go Again

Chapter 13: The Send Off

Four years later

Katniss' POV

"But I don't want to go Momma," Willow cries as I try to put her coat on.

"I know sweetie, but you have to," I say as I finally am able to put her jacket on.

"Do you not want me here anymore?" she asks. "I promise, I won't play with Daddy's paints anymore."

"Willow, you know I love you being here," I say. "But you need to go to school with all the other kids your age. You'll only be there until lunch and then I'll come and pick you up and we can go eat lunch with Daddy and tell him about our surprise."

"You mean the big secret?" She asks.

"Yes Dandelion," I say smiling. "The big secret. Remember, nobody but you and I know and you can't tell anyone until we tell Daddy."

"Uh huh," she says.

"You ready to go now?" I ask her.

"I guess so," She says.

"Don't worry sweetie," I say. "You've got your Daddy's social skills. You are gonna make a ton of friends." I take her hand and we walk through the streets to the little school house. Luca walks behind us, escorting his girl to school. The bond between the two seems to only have gotten over the years.

Lots of people wave hello, many that my daughter has never met and I may have spoken to once. But they all know who I am and they can easily tell that Willow is my daughter. She sometimes asks me how they know me, why they always say hello and know me by name. But I tell her that they are just being nice and thankfully, my five year old is happy with that answer.

We get to the schoolyard and when Willow sees the other kids, she turns around and clings to my leg.

"Don't make me stay here Mommy," she cries and I gently stroke her braids. I wish I didn't have to leave her. I wish I could just hold her and take her back home. But that's not what she needs.

"You'll be fine Willow," I say. "Just go make some friends and before you know it, Luca and I will be back to take you to the bakery."

"I'm gonna miss you Luca," She says and the big black dog wags his tail and kisses her cheek.

"I'm sure he's gonna miss you too," I say. I squat down and hug her and she wraps her arms around my neck. It's hurts so much when I have to pull away. "Goodbye Baby. I love you."

"I love you too Momma," she says and kisses my cheek before turning to go join the other kids her age. I feel tears in my eyes as I see the back of her shirt has become untucked and suddenly I'm transported to many years ago, long before Willow, long before Peeta and I even said words to each other.

"Wait Willow," I say and she comes back.

"What is it Momma?" she asks. I carefully tuck her shirt.

"Just thought you might want to tuck in your tail little duck," I say and wipe away my tears before she sees them.

"Bye Mommy," she says as she walks away.

"Bye Dandelion," I whisper and turn away to go home. I walk in and it feels so empty, I feel so alone. My baby is gone. Not for good, but I haven't been alone like this for over five years. I don't know what to do with myself. I feel myself start to cry and Luca whines and nudges my leg.

"Well, I guess I this have you huh buddy?" I say scratching him behind the ears. I start to remember a song my father sang to me before he took me to my first day of school. I don't know if it'll help, but I start softly singing.

"He didn't ask. He didn't pry
He just held the ice that covered my black eye
And when that girl broke my heart
We just threw that baseball back and forth 'til dark
And when I started playin' guitar and didn't have a clue
He wanted to protect me but somehow my father knew

You can cry for 'em
Live and die for 'em
You can help them find their wings
But you can't fly for 'em
'Cause if they're not free to fall
Then they're not free at all
And though you just can't
Bear the thought of letting go
You pick 'em up. you dust 'em off
You send 'em on down the road

A little kiss on a skinned up knee
From playin' soccer, riding bikes and climbing trees
And when bad dreams filled their heads
I chased the monsters out from underneath their beds
I guess I always knew those days would end
But the hardest thing I've ever learned has been

You can cry for 'em
Live and die for 'em
You can help them find their wings
But you can't fly for 'em
'Cause if they're not free to fall
Then they're not free at all
And though you just can't
Bear the thought of letting go
You pick 'em up, you dust 'em off
You send 'em on down the road

You can cry for 'em
Live and die for 'em
And even though it's gonna break your heart
You let 'em go. You pick 'em up, you dust 'em off
You hold 'em close and you pray a lot
You send 'em on down the road"

I look at the clock and smile. If start walking now, I'll get there just in time to take her to the bakery.

"You wanna go get Willow?" I ask Luca and he wags his tail. "Well lets go." I walk through the village and start smiling as I get closer to the school. I stop at the fence and smile when I see my little girl playing with a couple of the other little girls. She walks over with a very familiar looking ten year old, although I don't know why.

"Mommy!" she says and runs into my arms. She turns to the blonde ten year old. "This is my new friend Sherri. She said she knows you."

"In deed I do," I say. "It's very nice to see you again Sherri."

"It's nice to see you too Katniss," she says. "I was wondering when your little girl would be starting school."

"It's was her first day," I say. "And now it's time for us to go eat lunch with her Daddy."

"Well I better get back to my lunch," she says. "It was nice meeting you Willow. And Katniss, make sure to give Peeta my best."

"I will," I say, "It was nice seeing you again Sherri." she walks back over to the other little girls and I take Willow's hand.

"How do you know Sherri?" she asks as we start to walk towards the bakery.

"She used to come into the bakery on her way to school when she was about your age," I say.

"Really?" she asks.

"Yep," I say. "She used to be able to con a cookie out of your Daddy as good as you can."

"Wow," she says. We get to the bakery and Luca waits outside while we go inside. Peeta smiles brightly when he sees us and comes out from behind the counter so he can pick up his little girl.

"Here's my two favorite girls," he says. He wraps an arm around my waist and I kiss his cheek. We go in back to eat lunch and I decide its the perfect time for my secret to not be secret anymore.

"Willow has some thing to tell you," I say to Peeta.

"I do?" she says.

"Yes," I say. "Remember. The big secret."

"I'm supposed to tell now?" she asks making me laugh.

"Yes sweetie," I say.

"I'm gonna be a big sister!" she says happily. Peeta looks at me and smiles.

"Really?" he asks. I smile and nod.

"You're gonna be a Daddy again," I say. He pulls me into a hug and buries his face in my hair.

"I love you so much," he says.

"I love you too," I whisper back.