Slow It Down

Part 8 •REWRITTEN•

"You knew," I say before he can speak. "You knew he went here this whole time. And you knew how much he hurt me."

Kayce sighs with guilt written all over his face. "I didn't tell you because I didn't know how to. I didn't want to make things worse. I didn't want you to find out I went to college with him and thought I was picking sides."

I blink, my arms folding instinctively. "But by not telling me, it felt like you already did." My voice comes out a bit more snappy than I mean for it to.

He looks down again, jaw tense, with a look of disappointment in himself. "I get that. And I'm sorry, Lilah. Really, I should've said something."

"You let me come here completely blind. I had no idea I'd be seeing him again, and now I'm working with him in a class. You could've warned me, or at least prepared me."

Kayce has a look of surprise on his face which tells me that the whole time Jackson and him have been talking, that one big topic somehow never got brought up. And for some reason, it bothers me.

"Would it have changed anything if I told you?"

The question slices through me. My jaw tightens and my eyebrows furrow into a mixture of a scowl and in thought, but I don't answer. Because I don't know.

And the worst part? I think it would have.

Before I can respond, a voice calls out from the living room—Jackson asking Kayce something about food.

Kayce sighs, rubbing his face. "Look... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I didn't know how to explain it without reopening everything," he admits. "I know when I left, you were going through a lot already. And when you seemed so happy and... hopeful to come to the same college as me, I—" his arms flop at his sides with a defeated shrug. "I avoided telling you because I didn't want to put you through that again."

I suck in a breath and hesitate, my voice quieter now. "Why did you remain friends with him after everything that happened between us?"

Kayce's eyes flick up, then quickly away. He opens his mouth, about to speak, but then shuts it just as quick, his lips pressed into a tight line. He's at a loss for words, or he's choosing to not speak up.

My chest twists. His silence as an answer doesn't satisfy me, but I can tell he won't budge. He's protecting someone—whether it's Jackson or me, I don't know. Maybe both.

I let out a breath, frustrated but too drained to argue.

"I just don't understand how he could act like I didn't exist. After everything." I mumble more to myself than him.

Kayce steps closer, gently placing a hand on my shoulder. My green eyes lift to lock with his. "He messed up, but I swear, I wouldn't continue to be friends with someone who intentionally tried to hurt you—no matter how close of a friendship."

I let out a shaky breath.

There's a long pause before Kayce speaks again, his voice gentler this time. "I hated being stuck between you two," he admits softly. "Still do. I hate feeling like I have to keep the peace between you two when I'd give anything for you guys to just... talk to each other."

I nod, and it takes all of the effort I have to let go of the frustration. To recognize the pressure he's been under—always trying to be neutral when the two people he cares about have silently gone to war. I try to ignore the sting in my eyes.

"But I never stopped being your brother. I never stopped having your back." His voice is gentle, but full of enough emotion that I trust him completely.