Inventing Wonders

Chapter 12: I Cannot Explain It to You

Lara followed him with her gaze, thinking that she too liked doing that.

"Unexpected..." she whispered.

"I wanted to talk about something else..." the man ignored her words.

Lara had never tried so hard to keep her back straight; it felt like her neck would snap from the tension.

"What you told me, is it true?"

"About what?" she couldn't pull herself together.

"What you said to me about your feelings," his voice seemed devoid of any emotion.

"I didn't say anything bad..." she hesitated. "But you will ruin me, and that's true," tears welled up in her eyes again. "With you, I do everything wrong. With you, I cry all the time!" Lara turned away from him, trying not to show her weakness.

"I would never let harm come to you. Larisa, back then your words... I didn't know how to respond..." each word came with incredible difficulty.

"You don't understand," she sighed. "I feel genuine affection for you, I'd say love, but love is such a loud word, and we barely know each other," she shook her head, waving away even the thought of happiness.

"I can say the same words to you."

Lara felt him standing almost right behind her, but she resisted the temptation.

"Don't say that," she suddenly stood up but still didn't turn to her interlocutor. "Understand, you're a good person, or rather, a proper person, my antics irritate you, I'm sure my appearance drives you crazy. You're kind to me, so I'll tell it like it is. People like you don't marry people like me. And if they do, they end badly."

She glanced over her shoulder, a treacherous tear sliding down her cheek:

"See! I'm crying again!" she threw up her hands. "I'm such a fool!"

He circled the couch and stood right behind her, not daring to touch the girl.

"Larisa Konstantinovna! Are you downstairs?"

The door burst open.

"You have a package," Pelageya's red-haired head appeared in the doorway. "Larisa Konstantinovna, are you alright?"

Lara stood in the middle of the living room, hugging herself. Silent hot tears streamed down her cheeks, leaving crooked tracks of mascara mixed with powder. She stared into the distance, slightly turning her head towards the window. The sudden intrusion pulled her out of the stupor that could have lasted for hours. Lara gave Pelageya a blank look, shook her head, and silently headed for her bedroom.

"Larisa Konstantinovna, the package, they asked to deliver it urgently," the woman murmured plaintively as if she herself had been crying alone, holding out the parcel.

Passing by her, Lara carefully grabbed the light box and, without a word, disappeared into the darkness of the second floor. Pelageya shrugged innocently: from the time of the previous mistress, she had understood that the feelings of the gentry were much more intricate than her own, and therefore, there was no point in burdening her head with them.

Lara sat down on the windowsill, carefully watching the rare passersby flickering outside the murky window. For a moment, she thought she saw a familiar figure among the strangers, but it was just her imagination. She stared stupidly at the parcel. She should open it, but what if it was some kind of poison sent by ill-wishers? Lara sighed. Her tear-stained cheeks burned unpleasantly. She got up and went to the washbasin. She couldn't explain why she so desperately didn't want to open the suspicious package.