So, I wanted this to be sort of "traditional" in a way, but obviously me being, it's not. I wanted to tell you that no matter what happens, I will be there with you, not caring about me just you in my mind, not wanting to upset you. Never get upset about me, Phil. My heart is near. I want you to remember what I'm writing and always be happy, always, even if that means not with me. In no perspective of life would I have ever thought that I would be standing next to you, let alone ever lying next to you. I also want to thank you for making me like the smell of raspberry. I don't know why I decided it was important to write that, I guess I'm just nostalgic.
As you may have noticed, I haven't swore once is this entire letter. I know how much you hate me swearing. As unoriginal as it sounds, there are literally not enough words in any Oxford dictionary to explain how much you have impacted my life. Make sure you take care of yourself, Phil. I want you to make sure that if anyone ever invades your life with you not wanting them to, let them know. A.k.a murder the shit out of them.
Oh, sorry.
Well, I guess that means I have no limits now; I love you so fucking much. Even though I might not be there, I want you to make a life for yourself. Get a nice house in the countryside and make a beautiful family. You'll make a great dad. I know how much you've wanted to be a father and I'm sorry, Phil, I always wrap myself up in ridiculous things like all the things I have to do for work, I never considered actually having children anytime soon. I'm sorry. And I know that I won't be there whenever we comeout, but I want you to do that. I hate myself for not agreeing to making our relationship public as I know how much you were craving to. I guess I can be an ignorant prick sometimes. Sorry about that too.
Please, don't feel bad for me. Please. I want you to move on. This is so much harder for me then you. I love you like I've never loved anyone or anything ever before in my entire life. My heart is blue. Please remember this.
It's ok.
I know someday I'm gonna be with you.
Signed,
Dan Howell.
Phil reads it once, then throws it in the waste bin.
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ahoi!
so ive never officially made a full phanic before (as you can tell by my love triangle one coughcoughcough we wont talk about that).
anywho i really wanted to create an angst sad one i guess sorry if u get too emotionally attached to them and then the ending just destroys you, im the same way ;A;
i hope you enjoy it and i actually hope i finish it (pretty sure i will)
comment a comment if you wanna.
alrightalrightalriiiiiight ill see you soon.
mainsta -> claire.clouds
matwitter -> clxire.clouds
mayt -> bearsdecide
