White Knight Syndrome

4 • BatMobile

• not edited •

"Everyone likes you! Okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?" Ellie exploded, her voice reaching volumes I didn't know she could reach.

Eyes wide, I took a step back and shoved my hands in my pockets because I didn't know where to put them. "No, of course not-"

Ellie ignored me and steamrolled on, throwing her hands up in the air. "Everyone likes you," she repeated, and at this point, her easily flushed face was looking a shade too red to be healthy. "I like you. Even before today. And when you started paying attention to me, I thought maybe you wanted to get to know me, too. I didn't think you were just being nice."

"Wait, Ellie-"

"You're right," she suddenly sighed, her hands dropping back down to her sides. "It's not your fault. You're just nice to everyone. It's my own fault for thinking there was something more." Even though her voice had dropped down to her usual volume, she was still speaking too fast for me to cut in.

"Ellie listen to me-"

"Don't worry about it, I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have yelled at you or even talked to you." she muttered, looking like a caged animal as she stepped back out the doorless door. "I don't know what I was thinking."

Having had enough, and wanting to talk this through because I wasn't up for avoiding her for the rest of my senior year, I grabbed her elbow and pulled her back into the treehouse. Again.

She kept her face away even as her body faced me.

"Can you please just let me talk?" I asked, embarrassed to hear a little desperation in my voice. I wanted to fix this. I wanted to smooth this over, like I smoothed everything over when things got ruffled.

She looked completely drained, and nodded limply, still refusing to turn her head and meet my eyes. I kept my hands on her biceps in case she tried to run again. I was going to fix this and make sure we were cool before I would let her run.

The silence stretched on for a few moments as my scattered brain tried desperately to gather my thoughts and form words. "I... I'm sorry if you thought I wanted to be more than friends."

Clearly I needed to brush up on my orating skills because if I had more time to prepare for this impromptu speech, I wouldn't have picked that line to say first. Ellie's flinch did nothing to build my confidence.

Scared to blow this again, I rushed on, adopting the "rip the bandaid off" method. "I just got out of a serious relationship, and I don't think I'm ready to move on yet."

The weight in my stomach lightened when I saw her face soften at my words. Chloe and my breakup hadn't gone unnoticed in Argent Prep, and for once, I enjoyed the lack of anonymity in my school, if it meant I didn't have to go into the gory details of my recent heartbreak.

"I want to focus on school and my friends first." As soon as I said that, Ellie's lips pursed slightly and the weight settled back in my stomach. It was like walking through a minefield with this girl, and all I wanted was to make her smile again.

She probably thought I included Delilah in the friends I wanted to focus on, which was true, but she also probably thought I wanted to be more than friends with the princess of Argent Prep. I felt a sigh roll out as I raked a hand through my perfectly-gelled hair, leaving it messy and ruined.

"Listen," I said heavily, and she finally looked at me then. "I know you must think Delilah and I have something, but we don't. She's one of my best friends. It'll be weird. And besides, do you really think her attention span lasts long enough for a proper relationship?"