Control (Dark Romance)

Chapter 43

Wrote this to Dawn after Darkness by Cicada -- it's already in the Control playlist on my Spotify.

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Nikola's POV

"So, have you thought about it?"

"About what?"

"Nikola."

"Hagen."

"Answer the question! What do you want to be when you grow up?"

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"You first. What do you want to be?"

"Right now? Probably a chef! I could make all the meals I want to eat, whenever I want to eat them and Dad won't be able to tell me I have to stop!"

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"Don't look at me like that! You asked and I answered, so now it's your turn. What do you want to be when you grow up?"

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"I don't know. I don't know what I want to be."

"Come on, Nik. You must know."

"I don't. I don't... I don't care what I'll be, I just....."

"You just?"

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"I just want to be with you."

Losing him had never been an option.
It could not be, because if it happened, if I lost him... then I'd be lost too.

In ways, I was.

I tried to keep my mind focused, but it often slipped, and I tried to maintain my former routines, but.....

I always thought that if I lost him, then I wouldn't be able to breathe.

It was the only reasoning that made sense when, in the instances where I made him mad or hateful, being subjected to his ire syphoned the air straight from my lungs. In those instances, I could barely breathe, so I'd assumed that if he were taken from my life completely, then that would be it.

My life would cease to be, and maybe with it, everything else as well if the control I had over my magic slipped in those final moments.

In reality, I was not dead. I could breathe.

It wasn't easy. Every intake was forcing oneself to swallow shards of glass that tore open already lacerated flesh on its descent.

It was gruelling. It was a task- each time, every breath- and it was not a pain to endure once a day or on the cusp of every effort. Breathing was now a task that required effort every second of every day because it was not easy.

It had become the hardest thing I had to do- the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I could breathe.

I'd lost him, the unthinkable had happened, and somehow... life carried on.

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There were a number of oddities to be found amongst an underground castle, the most pressing of which wasn't even the aforementioned castle.

Firstly, there was all the greenery surrounding it.
It should not be possible for there to be woodlands full of prospering trees within the enormous cavern it was all tucked within, but there was. Trees, a meticulously tended garden, and life, all underground.