the author needs a new brain

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hiya everybody. was reminded that i didn't put an update up and kind of just left you guys wondering what's up with there being no chapter.

the writer curse struck and it is demanding blood apparently. a bunch of shit went down. like everything fucking hurts. so much. 

short answer for that is: life.

long answer for that is: my best friend died, my mental health is in the pits, i'm recovering from being in the hospital, and i'm on like a vague suicide watch. actually not even that vague because i can't do anything without informing anybody otherwise they think i've unalived myself somewhere.

which... not entirely inaccurate but i don't have the energy to even go through with it, no matter how peaceful it sounds. i'm not going to leave my stories unfinished. i can't do that. that'd be absolutely shitty of me. so i'm really just peachy. but yay to me not giving in yet i guess. idek. yeah.

so like regarding this story. uhm, i'm doing a rewrite because i genuinely started despising this story. i fought it for like 3 weeks but now i have an outline for a massive 500K story. third time is the fucking charm and all that.

not the best way to deal with my descending mental health but nothing exists if you ignore it hard enough ✨ writing and reading fanfics is my avoidance tactic. let me ruin myself. i'm having fun and i'm alive. idk what more i can do.

enough with the emotional shit though. i'm rewriting and i'm going to start updating on Christmas of this year. or maybe my birthday if i feel generous (Nov. 17th). i already have 3 rewritten chapters, so yay to that ig. This new one reads a lot better imo, the chapters are a consistent length, and there aren't so many plot holes and plot inconsistencies. the pure blood culture and politicking isn't so brushed over and is actually present in the story. and the Golden Trio is badass. love em to death. 

so yeah. that's me.

hope everybody is doing better than me. though that's not a very high bar. love you all~ 💕


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