The Stranger

Part 28 - Alex

The background noise of the office was not enough to quiet the thoughts in my head. I could usually dive right into my work and silence the world but not this time. The coldness and awkwardness in Cassandra's demeaner since she met Valeria had been a bother since we initiated our trip back from Spain. My instinct had advised me to not to take Cassandra to Spain so soon in our relationship but seeing the disappointment in her eyes when I insinuated, I couldn't go to Berlin with her made jump into a solution I knew was too sudden. Yes, I am the dominant, but her happiness is my service to her, her mind at ease is what she deserves, and I couldn't let her go on her own, I know now that going with her to that exhibition was the best idea because it was completely awkward for her, having to see what John had created without her consent. I am glad I was there for her.

I replayed that night in my head while I looked at the landscape of London through the window in my office. She had been sad of how the night had gone and she thought she had ruined it for us, which she didn't. None of what happened had been her fault. When she took the toy out of her and realised that we hadn't used it she had gone from sadness to submissive for me. She had jumped on me and soon let me dominate her. She begged to be allowed to orgasm while I filled her mouth with my cock and even after she had reached her climax, she let me fuck her and gave me another orgasm. She was sleepy, relaxed, her pussy was coated with my orgasm, while I played with her hair, and she was completely free as she fell asleep in my arms.

I had not let anyone in ever since Valeria and after Cassandra's mood change since their meeting, it was obvious that Cassandra didn't completely trust me yet. Whatever it was that Valeria had said to her, had tipped her balance of trust against me. I shouldn't have taken her to Spain with me. Gaining her trust required more patience and more time. I had not given any of that to any woman since Valeria and that's because I gave Valeria too much of both. Now, my relationship with Cassandra was hanging by a thread and it would only go one way: Me, completely open and raw, completely honest me, telling her all that had happened with Vale... that complete thought of total honesty. It had gone wrong for me in the past and I wasn't sure if I could do that again. Immersing myself in work had been a way to stop remembering what went so wrong with Vale and I. Taking lots of women to bed had helped with knowing that my desires were not wrong, but that only helped a little. The nights were still lonely and spent alone.

Then, my mother's voice took over my thoughts. Her voice repeating to me that Vale had been the best thing she had ever created through her dance school and how happy she was for the both of us. I convinced myself that marrying her was the best gift I could give my mother after she had been diagnosed. Seeing Vale and I married after dating her for so long had been my gift to her, even if I knew I mostly stayed with Vale to see mum happy. Her boy and her best ever student, who she loved like her own daughter. But I fucked everything up when I tried to fit my sexual fantasies within our very vanilla relationship. Maybe we'd still be married if I had just shut up and repressed my desires. At the end of the day, the thought of putting my relationship with Valeria above my desires kept me up at night, it gutted me and put me in misery. The romantic in me kept telling me that my fairytale relationship with Valeria, the famous, rich, beautiful flamenco dancer who I grew up with was everyone's dream but the dominant in me needed a deeper connection than that surface level pretence of perfection that the cameras saw. Maybe there was no possibility of having love, a long-term relationship, and my dark desires. I would have to give up one of then, and I eventually gave in to the darkness.

Meeting Cassandra gave me a glimpse of hope that maybe I could have it all. Now I am realising that to her I am a stranger again, someone who she doesn't know deserves her trust. Maybe you can't have it all, maybe you can just take what life gives you and choose what is most important to you and leave the rest, leaving your glass mostly full but not completely filled. In this case, it's looking that it will end up mostly empty.