What is happening to me

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Beth POV:

Viv has been staying with me for the last few weeks after having discussed things with Lisa so that she wouldn't have a scare like that again. I've been getting to see a new side of Viv that no one has seen. It's nice to see her becoming more comfortable with us. Viv had gone back to her house to pack clothes since she was leaving after training to go back to the Netherlands for Christmas. A few of us are going to get together for New Year's when we come back.

Christmas went by in a blur, and before I knew it, I was back in St. Albans. Lisa was in Dubai for the New Year, so Viv offered to do it at her place. There were a few of us from the team, and Katie Stengel joined as well. Viv knew her the best out of us since Katie was her roommate when she moved to Bayern. When the time came, we all had a beer in hand, waiting for the countdown. We all cheered for each other, and by the time 1 a.m. rolled around, it was just me and Viv left. I was staying over since Viv left Flip at mine and wouldn't be able to sleep otherwise.

Before I knew it, it was the 17th, and Viv was at my doorstep at 3 a.m. I was concerned since yesterday we played Reading and today we would be having a heavy training session due to the upcoming match against Manchester City on the 23rd, and she was at my door, probably hadn't slept a wink, and just came to my house. I welcomed her, telling her to just go to my bed while I locked up. It took me 3 minutes at the most by the time I got to my room, and she was out and dead to the world.

When I got back to sleep, all I kept dreaming about was sucking on an ice lollie. I don't know if I was just craving one or wanting summer to come sooner, but by the time my alarm went off, I was extremely thirsty. I went to the kitchen, trying not to make any noise so Viv could sleep a bit more. When I turned around from filling my glass, I saw Viv, who looked panicked, and before I could ask what was wrong, she said, "There's a hickey on my neck, and no, I haven't slept with anyone, and no, it's not from a straightener or curling iron." I sat in silence for a while before it dawned on me. What if, while I was sleeping, me sucking on an ice lollie It was Viv's neck. "I may have sucked on your neck while I was dreaming." "What the fuck were you dreaming about? That translated to sucking my neck in your sleep." Viv didn't seem mad but was more confused about the situation. "Ice lollies," she gave me a dumbfounded look as if to say that's why I'm stuck with a hickey now.

Viv POV:

As soon as I got through the doors, everyone was bombarding me with questions about the hickey on my neck, and Beth decided on the way that the real story was pathetic, but deep down, I didn't mind having a hickey given to me by Beth. While changing, I found that I wished to be awake when it happened. I pushed that thought away, thinking that I was just touch-deprived.

When training started, I was in the best form I've ever been in. Pricey was taking pictures of us training, but it wasn't until I got back to Beth's that I looked at the picture. Even then, the only reason I checked was that my phone was blowing up. It showed me with my head back laughing at probably something Beth did, but there was the hickey on full display. I had playfully told her off about it, and once again, my brain was thinking otherwise.

I walked to Beth, knowing she could help with my problem. "I think I need to get laid." Beth spat her drink out, choking on what little of it she swallowed. "What, why do you say that?" "I'm thinking things I shouldn't be." "What do you mean you're thinking things you shouldn't be?" "sex." I was straight to the point: There was no way to sugarcoat it. "Viv, that's normal to think that, and if you want to, I can help you find someone suitable for you." "No, I just don't want to think about sex. I never really had these thoughts before." Viv, it's normal. It's part of life. You're bound to get something like this. If you're not looking for someone, then just use toys." I let the conversation die there and spent the rest of the time I had with Beth thinking about what she had said.

I decided to watch one of Lisa's games; they had performed well but couldn't get the win. I went over to her after the match to show how their performance was, and as soon as I got to her, she asked, "What happened there?" waving her finger around the side of my neck, "Beth did it" "should I not let you have sleepovers with her anymore?" she was being her classic self-teasing when she got the chance. "It's quite a boring story, but if you want to know, she sucked my neck in her sleep, dreaming about ice lollies." We talked a bit more before I left for Beth's house.

Beth POV:

Over the last few weeks, Viv and I were attached by the hips, so when international duty came around, I had only just arrived at St. George's Park and got to my room when Viv started calling. I answered, wondering why she was calling, concerned that she had forgotten something and only now found out. "How was the trip to SGP? '' Good. I could ask you the same as you went out of the country." We ended up talking until we both had to go our separate ways. I thought Viv had just forgotten something, not that she just wanted to catch up. I found myself thinking about her all the time, wondering what she was doing. I would wish to be remotely close to Viv. I could feel my heart starting to race when thinking or talking to her. We've been calling and texting at every opportunity we can get.

It took me almost the whole duration of the Arnold Clark Cup to realise that I could have deeper feelings for her, and of course, go figure that as I was feeling things for Viv, Sarina gave us the schedule for the next few months. On the bottom, there was us vs. the Netherlands on the 24th of June, our final game before the Euros. I never faced the Netherlands while dating Daan, but now that I realise potential feelings for Viv, we face them.

When we got back from break, Viv and I seemed to get slightly more physical in the sense that when we were at mine, there were more lingering touches, and it felt lonely when she went back to hers. On the 8th, Viv posted about the WPS vlog that came out earlier in the day, and when I watched it, you couldn't tell that she and Lisa were not together anymore.

On the 12th, Viv and I went out to play mini golf and get dinner. Viv had beaten me in all the rounds of golf, and when we were done with dinner, we got in the car so I could drop her off. When I pulled into the driveway, I put the shift into park, turning to bid Viv goodbye. When she leaned in and kissed me, I froze for a second before kissing back. It felt like my heart was going a million kilometres per hour, but I didn't want this to end. Viv broke the kiss, bidding me goodbye.

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A/N: The news with Viv is a sucker punch. They didn't even try to offer her a contract and looks like Man City want her. What a Monday.

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