An Appearance Doesn't Define Me

Chapter 9: We're All Haunted by the Past

   "Ivypaw? Why'd you sleep in here last night?" Silverpaw asked concern lacing her still raspy voice.

   "Your throat! Have you been treated yet today?" Ivypaw mewed dodging the question.

   "Ivypaw, it's already sun-high you've been asleep for half the day – Tallshade gave me some lavender when I ate this morning." She answered, shaking her head.

   "Then why didn't you-"

   "Wake you up? Cinnamonpaw wouldn't let us." The smaller cat's mouth formed an 'oh' shape before she sat up.

   "Can we go to the Prey Pile? I need some food." She asked, before standing up to leave.

   "Right. Now tell me why you slept in the Apprentices' Den instead of your own." Silverpaw insisted as Ivypaw licked her lips clean, trying to savour any flavour of mouse.

   "Bad dream," She stated avoiding eye contact - she didn't want Silverpaw to feel guilty.  

   "What happened?"

   "It...It doesn't matter, I've got to see Tallshade, for my chores. See you around," Ivypaw spoke hurriedly and strode off toward her mentor who had just disappeared into his den.

***

   "See you later, Ivypaw, good luck," Rosecloud's mew came gentle as the two medicine cats disappeared through the den entrance. They started walking in complete silence, it was peaceful with the last of the setting sun's rays and the lake's waves splashing next to them.

   They were almost at the Moonpool's path when aquestion wiggled its way to Ivypaw's mind. "Tallshade?" Ivypaw's quiet mew came.

   "Yes?"

   "What are the other medicine cats like?" she asked, jumping over a ditch in the sand.

   "Good question... Well, there's Tinyfur from Windclan – he's a bit of an odd ball – he'll say something extremely stupid but then solve a major problem. Then Starlingberry who will try to become your mother, and her apprentice, who's the same age as Nutpaw and Apricotpaw – he's the most realistic cat you'll ever meet, they're both from Thunderclan. You've got Earfur of Skyclan – she's just there because she must be. And finally, Smallfang of ShadowClan, he's extremely helpful but can be very full of himself," He finished before looking up the hill and nodded, "There they are, seems that we're the last to arrive."

   "Good evening Tallshade, nice of you to join us." A multi-coloured tabby greeted the younger medicine cat coldly.

   "Right! It's cold; time to get moving." A little white and grey tom shivered before making the first move up the hill. 

   As the group of six started forward Ivypaw felt a sense of dread drift over her, she didn't know what to do, what if she messed up?  Then these cats she didn't know would go tell their clans what a mouse-brain she was, then... Ivypaw's spiralling train of thought was cut off by a small bluish cat standing still waiting for her.

   "You must be Ivypaw, right?" she asked, Ivypaw swallowed and let out a small 'yes.'

   "I'm Starlingberry, I'm not surprised you're here tonight – Tallshade was very fond of his little helper before you came of age to be apprenticed, it was the first time I've seen him happy, in well, ever!" The she-cat's voice rang through Ivypaw's mind on repeat each time she felt her heart swell more. Tallshade was fond of her.

   "I, I didn't know that, thank you." She replied softly.

   "Ready to meet StarClan?" The older she-cat asked, her eyes flickering down as they made their way down into the hollow.

   "I think so, are they friendly?" Ivypaw asked in reply, her paws sliding over the imprints in the stone.

   "Extremely," Starlingberry purred before joining up with her apprentice.

   At once, every cat was in a semicircle with Tallshade in the middle, he beckoned Ivypaw forward, and she took her place beside him.

   "Ivypaw, is it your wish to enter into the mysteries of StarClan as a medicine cat?" he asked, facing his apprentice.

   "It is." Came the response.

   "Then come forward. Warriors of StarClan, I present to you this apprentice. She has chosen the life of a medicine cat. Grant her your wisdom and insight so that she may understand your ways and heal her clan according to your will." His voice rang out as he looked at the younger cat with pride. "Come, lay down next to the pool and touch your nose to the water." The instruction was carried out by the apprentice, and she was soon followed by the others, it was not long before she drifted into sleep.

___

   Ivypaw blinked open her eyes to find herself on a mist covered island.

   "Hello? Anyone there?" she asked, once her voice finished echoing through the mist a small kit walked through the white cover. Her ginger, white and brown tabby pelt was littered with stars and had a sort of transparency to it.

   "Hey Ivypaw." She mewed as brown eyes made contact with blue and amber ones.

   "Bluekit!" Ivypaw took off at speed toward her sister, she found herself looking down at the kit and her brows furred at the smallness of her..

   "Ivypaw, while I now hold the wisdom of StarClan, I have not aged – my name will still be Bluekit as will all the other kits who have had a tragically short life." Her voice was lined with concern at her sister's expectation. "Other than that, you're a Medicine Cat Apprentice, you did it and kept your vow!"

   "No, I didn't – Silverpaw still almost drowned, and Nutpaw saved her – all I did was list herbs with the wrong uses." Ivypaw's pessimistic tone sombered the air around the two.

   "No, she lived, now I have little time so,"

   "Wait what?"

   "SHHH! Ivypaw keep this in mind 'Friendships can pass through borders.' I must go now, I'll see you Ivypaw." The kit faded or was it Ivypaw who did, neither really knew. All that was known was that Ivypaw opened her eyes to meet her reflection in the Moonpool.