An Appearance Doesn't Define Me

Chapter 9: We're All Haunted by the Past

   The three littermates entered the water together, it was easy at first all three were splashing around and laughing. "Guys, do you see that stone down there?" Bluekit shouted "I'm gonna dive and bring it to the surface!" before either could stop her Bluekit dived down...

And didn't resurface.

"You're lucky Apricotkit realised you three had escaped the Nursery or Bluekit would have been in serious trouble." A musty brown tom stood tall and freighting, "the shock is enough punishment for now... when Bluekit recovers, you'll be cleaning out the Nursery."

Rosecloud's sobs resonated in the air,  Ivykit spun around in the Nursery to put her ear up to the den's wall, "Greencough, she's unconscious and got greencough!"

"I'm sorry, Bluekit's not coming back to the nursery." Eelstripe's eyes were full of more grief then Ivykit thought possible.

   Bluekit looked so still as Ivykit watched Cinnamonkit press against their sister one last time, "Her body is so cold, isn't Ivykit?"

"I'll never let a cat be in your position again, I swear on my life."

   Two brown eyes blinked open in a small den, slowly, heavy with grief, Ivypaw crept out of the medicine den. She made her way to the Apprentices' Den. One cat kept walking through her mind. She entered the den tiptoeing past the empty nests to the far corner, she slipped past one figure, past another, and another, she stopped and prodded the cat in front of her; when they turned their head, she let out a sigh of relief, two blue eyes shone up at the dark figure.

   "Ivypaw? What do you want?" they asked.

   "Cin 'paw, can I stay here?" her voice shook as she whispered.

   "Sure, but why?" Cinnamonpaw asked as she moved over to let her sister into the nest.

   "I dreamed..."

   "So?"

    "It was Bluekit again... drowning in the river again..." she whispered - voice shaking more and more as she crawled in beside her Surviving littermate.

   "Oh Ivypaw..."

   "She died at my paws Cin' I should have-"

   "No. Stop blaming yourself – you were the reasonable one-"

   "Then I should have been stronger!" she wailed only to panic when Apricotpaw's ear twitched.

   "No. No more should haves – Ivypaw you're a Medicine Cat Apprentice– look Silverpaw's incident is what caused this, right?" Ivypaw nodded. "Well, she's alive and healthy, okay? You're the one who knew what to do, because you haven't left Tallshade since Bluekit died, and you only slipped up on usage, why? Because your mind was doing hundreds of paw steps every heartbeat because of Bluekit, okay? You going to make it, Ivypaw, now sleep, it's the half-moon tomorrow, and you don't want to miss meeting StarClan!" Cinnamonpaw exclaimed before resting her muzzle on her sister's shoulder.

   Light flickered through the den to reveal a silver tabby sitting next to a sleeping Ivypaw. As light filtered on to a pair of brown eyelids, they blinked open only to meet a pair of light blue ones.