We spent the next two years building a beautiful friendship. Every once in a while the thought of fucking you would creep into my mind. I rejected that urge. Quite frankly, I didn't believe you liked me "like that". Plus my relationship status was “complicated” to say the least. My how things don't change. You were also a great friend. We spent countless hours laughing and talking about everything. You were the first man I could be authentic with. It was refreshing. I swear everytime you complimented my natural beauty, I would get wet.. Something I would have never told you. I tend to become bored with people, places, things but not you. You kept me guessing. You took your time. You got to know me. I appreciated that. I started to resent my boyfriend. I felt that he was preventing me from having you. My emotional loyalty is my weakness and my strength. So we waited. The tensions mounted. Eventually our flirting grew from innocent to deliberate. I couldn't go a day without drifting off into my mind, thinking about what it would be like? What your touch felt like? What your skin tasted like? How you felt inside of me.?I would fuck him and catch myself pretending it was you. I think I called him your name a few times too. I knew it would happen eventually and I wanted to be ready when it did. I remember seeing you with other bitches and becoming engulfed in envy. Still chill. Just saying. It was only a matter of time. As graduation grew near and my time with you grew shorter, the intensity rose. Conversations about career goals and next steps were common place with us. No more common than what wasn't being said. It never felt like we had enough time together. I always wondered about your life outside of our walks. Who were you when you werent with me? Where did you go? Who did you see? Even if it was just a moment, time with you was all I wanted to do. Well, maybe not all I wanted to do.
🖌 @tychaeree
