Love Lust

One More Chance

I walked home after what happened.
I was still surprised and was flustered.

I looked at our house, I stared at the front door deciding if I should go in or not.
I took a step in but I didn't hear any fighting noises...
I looked around and no one was home...
I went straight to my bed and locked the door.

I was happy then since no one was there to nag me or hurt my feelings or hurt me physically.

I looked at my phone and just scrolled, but then I saw a post from exeo.
He was leaving?...
I didn't know that. Why didn't he tell me?..

I texted him asking if he's really leaving.
I got a response saying

"Yes sorry I didn't tell you"

After that I shutdown my phone.
I screamed internally as tears fell down my face.
I thought we'd be together forever, I though he was the one.
But I guess I'll be alone again.

I might sound like I'm overreacting but constantly having someone get in my life then decides to leave, is one of the most painful thing you could a give person.
I cried myself to sleep, I didn't even want to touch my phone.

It kept ringing, so I muted it All.

I can't anymore, why does it always happen to me?
My trust was broken again, and by someone I thought was trying to fix that trust.

(Warning⚠️ mention of self harm)

I got my bl*de and started to lose control of myself, I always end up like this when I have problems that I don't feel the pain anymore. It's more like a distraction.

I looked in the mirror with blood all over my wrist.

*I look pathetic haha, but what can I say. My life's trash that's why I'm doing it*

Tears started flooding my face again.
Everything was going all at once, I thought everything will be fine.
I thought I'll be okay now.
I thought I left that life from the past.
I thought I was better now.

But guess what, here I am again.

I sat down and stared at the rope I had.

*should I? *

That word kept repeating on my head as I set up my sh*t.
I'm only asking it cause I know Tha answer.

I sat down after I settled it up.
I opened my diary and wrote something.
As I was writing tears fell down my face, it was hard looking at the paper while my eyes run.

And finally I finished it.

I got in the chair and put my head in.

I felt relieved, finally!
The time has come!
I'm finally obtaining my dream!

I kicked the chair and everything ended there and then.