Becoming Whole Again

Chapter 6

(Amanda's POV)
I woke up and sat bolt upright, hitting my head off the top bunk.
"OW!" I yelled and rolled off the edge of the bottom bunk.
Nick opened the door startled.
"Amanda? How long have you been in here?" he asked as he helped me to my feet.
I took a quick look at my watch. Gosh I've been in here for a while. I gave a deep sigh.
"3 hours." I said flatly.
"3 hours? Jesus. Wait, why are you in here anyways? Serge was looking for you earlier and you were nowhere to be found." he said.
"It's a long story..." I trailed off.
I got dizzy because I had hit my head off the top bunk and I stumbled as I tried to walk to the door.
"Whoa. Take it easy. What did you do?" he asked concerned.
"I hit my head off the top bunk when I sat up." I said laughing a little.
"So that's what that loud thud was? God, Amanda, I know you're blonde but I didn't think you were that blonde." he said smiling.
I punched him in the arm.
"I could still beat your ass in a heartbeat, Amaro." I said smirking.
"I'd like to see you try." he replied.
I raised my eyebrows at him. He stepped back and raised his hands in surrender.
"Okay, okay. Point taken. Come on." he said as he opened the door for me.
The light from the squad room gave me a huge headache since the bunk was so dark. Not to mention I hit my head off a piece of metal. I took a seat at my desk and laid my head down on my arms and began to think about Sonny. God...I love him so much...
(Carli's POV)
Sonny is so tensed up. I'm worried about him. After I saw what he did to Chuck, I've been trying to calm him down but nothing has seemed to work.
Sonny and I were laying on the couch together. I had my head resting on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.
"Sonny?" I whispered.
"Yeah, baby?" he said.
"You didn't have to do that...I deserved it." I said and I buried my face in the corner of his neck.
"Carli, you didn't deserve any of what he did to you. No one deserves to be raped and tortured. No one deserves being harassed. Especially you. You're gorgeous, sweet, and funny. I had to defend my perfect girlfriend." he said and I started to blush a little.
"Sonny...I-" I began but he cut me off.
"Shhh..." he said as he lifted my head and kissed me softly.
My heart melted and my body relaxed on top of him. I started crying.
"Hey...what's wrong?" Sonny asked.
"It's just that you care about me so much. No one has cared about me in a long time. Everyone has treated me like trash. They threw me away like I was nothing." I was still crying.
Sonny wiped my tears away and sat up, holding me in his arms. I laid my head on his shoulder.
"Well, I'm nothing like those douchebags. I'm going to love you forever and never let you go." he whispered in my ear.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. I didn't even know what to say. I just looked deep into his beautiful blue eyes.
"I love you." I said softly.
"I love you too." he said back with a slight smile.
Sonny got up and was carrying me in his arms.
"What are you doing?" I asked giggling a little.
He said nothing and just carried me into the bedroom.
"Sonny-" I was cut off by him laying me in the bed under the blankets.
"Let's just go to sleep." he said as he crawled in the bed on the other side.
"You didn't have to carry me. I have two working legs." I said laughing.
"I guess I just wanted to hold you in my arms." he said with a wide smile.
(Sonny's POV)
I was laying next to Carli, staring into her beautiful eyes. I put my hand on her cheek.
"You're so beautiful. How did I get someone as perfect as you?" I asked as I played with her thin, blonde hair.
Carli was blushing more than you could imagine.
"Dominick..." she said in a soft, airy voice.
"Yes, angel?" I asked.
Her eyes were closed and it looked as though she were about to fall asleep.
"I'm so tired..." she whispered lightly.
"Me too, sweetheart." I replied and I yawned.
"Goodnight, Sonny. I love y-" she started to say but finally fell asleep.
I pulled her body closer to mine so that I could wrap both of my arms around her.
"I love you too, Carli. So much." I said as I laid my head down and fell asleep.
(Carli's Dream POV)
Sonny and I were laying on the bed, we were play wrestling. I was laughing a lot and really loud.
"Sonny! Let me up!" I begged while laughing.
He was laughing too and then started tickling me.
"Nooooo!!!" I yelled and I couldn't stop laughing to save my life.
Then we heard something outside the bedroom door.
Sonny got off of me and I backed up a little off the bed. The bedroom swung open and hit the wall. Chuck was standing there with a gun pointed at Sonny.
"Give me Carli or your blood will be spattered all over the wall." Chuck said boldly.
"No! Please don't take her!" Sonny begged.
"No. Take me. Just please don't kill him." I said.
"Carli, no!" Sonny said and grabbed my hand.
Chuck charged forward, towards me. I screamed and tried to run but he grabbed me. He started to take my shirt off.
"NO! STOP!" I was screaming so high pitched that I sounded like a little girl.
(Carli's Real POV)
I woke up tossing and turning. I was sweating buckets. Sonny was straddled over me with a look of fear on his face.
"Carli...what-?" he asked scared.
It looked like he was about to cry.
"Sonny, I'm fine....just another nightmare..that's all. I'm okay." I said softly.
"You don't look okay." he said.
He rolled off of me got off the bed. He walked over to my side and pulled me to my feet. He hugged me tightly. That's when I lost it. I hugged him back and let all of my emotion out. I was crying uncontrollably and hyperventilating.
"Shhh...it's okay....I'm here." he whispered in my ear as he played with my hair.
(Sonny's POV)
My heart is shattering seeing Carli like this. I really need to help her but she never talks to me about anything. Maybe she would talk to the squad's shrink, Huang. I'll ask her once she calms down, it doesn't look like it's going to be soon though.
Carli is a complete wreck. It's been 3 hours after she woke up from that nightmare. She's drank like 5 glasses of wine. I'm worried about her.
She walked into the bathroom and shut the door. I heard the lock turn. Maybe she's just taking a shower...
(Carli's POV)
The wine wasn't taking away my pain so I figured I needed a different cope. I went into the bathroom and locked the door. I started rummaging through the cabinets as quietly as possible until I finally found it, razor blades.
I opened the package and grabbed one of the silver blades. It was cold in my hand. I put the blade to my skin and slowly sliced up my left wrist. I screamed and dropped the blade. I started getting dizzy from the blood. I don't do well with looking at blood.
Sonny came pounding on the door.
"CARLI?! CARLI ANSWER ME!" he was shouting in terror.
I unlocked and opened the door. Sonny's expression changed drastically.
"Baby, what did you do?" he said and he grabbed towels and wrapped them around my wrist.
I started getting more dizzy than I was at first.
"Sonny...I-I'm so-" I began but passed out.