The things I can't have - Taylor and Travis (AU)

14.

I refuse to get her rejection. A little more forcefully, I manage to take her in my arms and after a few seconds on struggling, eventually she relaxes and melts into my arms. Burying her face in my chest as she sobs harder.

"Baby I promise you nothing has happened with her, I swear I did not and am not cheating on you, I would never. I could never do that to you I love you too much" I say quietly into her hair. One of my hands hold her firmly around the waist as the other one caresses her back up and down.

"She was all over you" she whispers, choking on her words at the end. Showing me how grossed out she was at the thought of another girl touching me.

"I know I'm sorry, I told her I had a girlfriend right away but I should've pushed her away harder" I marched my time to her soft one.

Taylor pulls away to meet my eyes and my hands immediately go to find another way to have some physical contact with her, I find her hands resting on her lap between us and take her palms in mine. Stroking the back of them with my thumbs.

"Is she your ex? Cause she looked very comfortable and casual with the way she hugged and touched you"

I shake my head, I told her I've never had a real girlfriend before her. "We hooked up around the end of last year. It was only twice but she got clingy since then and it seems like apparently I can't avoid her". She nods, understanding.

"Oh"

"I told you you're the only girl for me" she nods again and the look in her eyes soften, she believes me. She trusts me and I'll be damned if I broke that trust. I would lose not only the best thing that happened to me but I'll also lose my best friend, and get beat the shit out of.

"I know I said I don't mind your past and that we should focus on us and the present but.." she sniffles and remove one of her hands from mine to wipe a stray tear away from her blushed cheek. "But I can't not wonder about it.. I know you used to be very..." she stuttered "'active' but I wonder how many and who were those girls".

I look down at our joined hands. It gives me some sort of comfort, knowing that even with everything she still wants me.

"Baby I.. I'm really not sure you want to know everything" I tell her.
She looks to the door and I look in the direction as well to see Hailey leaving the room, understanding this conversation should've be a private one.

"I do. I can deal with it I promise"

If she says she does want to know than I have to tell her, I owe her that much at least and I know all about the rumors that has been going around since I was in high school but I don't think reality match them that much.

"Okay then" I squeeze her hands a little "it's not as bad as the rumors made it sound like. I've slept with 13 girls in total, including you. Most of them were during high school"

"I thought it would be like 30" she chuckles nervously.

"If I wouldn't have fallen for you right before moving to college it probably would've been" she squints her eyebrows, giving me a questioning look. "Falling in love made me realize I'm not that into meaningless sex anymore. I wanted it to be real, and you are better that anything I've ever dared to imagine".

"So you barely had sex last year because you wanted to have sex with me?" She raises an eyebrow.

That sounds weird now that she says it out loud but it's the truth "no one was you. And no matter how much I tried, jerking off thinking about you bad better than anything with anyone else".

She shoves my shoulder gently " shut up Travis that's gross"

"Me thinking about you while touching myself is gross?" She nods "I think it's romantic. What else would I think about?" Her shoulders move up and down in a shrug.

"What do you think about when you touch yourself?" Instantly she becomes silent and her face turn red as a tomato. "Wait Tay.. you've never touched yourself?" I ask her surprised, she is so pure and I love that.

"I never knew how" I lean forward to catch her lips in mine for a short kiss "I'll teach you" I whisper before going back to kissing her, this time making her lean back on the bed so I'm hovering above her.

We kiss for a few minutes before I pull away "so you forgive me?" I have to make sure.

A soft smile appears on her face "yeah, but I don't want any other female to ever even slightly touch you. Unless it's your mom. She's the only one who gets an exception cause she needs to get hugs from you every once in a while"

"No. Never. You're my only one. I don't want or need anything else as long as I have you" I caress her hair.

"Next time some obsessive fan tries something you have to push her or I might kill her" I nod before she adds "and you" I chuckle, dunking my head back down towards her but she stops me.

"Lock the door".