Circe Riddle (Book 3)

Chapter 53

TW: Mentions of homophobia, Blood, Cuts, Vomiting?, mentions of SH, mentions of death/ killing

(Mattheo's pov)

A week before school ended Indu caught me in the library "Mattheo?" I heard her voice as I was skimming through some books on the shelves. Her voice sounded a bit uneven and when I turned to look at her she was looking down, fiddling with a bracelet around her wrist.

"Is something wrong?" I asked concerned

She looked up "No, I just wanted to talk to you" She looked away for a moment "Preferably somewhere private"

"Uh, sure" I picked up the books I had and quickly checked them out before we went to her dorm. Indu sat down on her bed while I sat across from her on Circe's bed. I tried not to think about how much I missed her. "So, what do you want to talk about?" I asked, looking around the room.

"This might be a little personal, so sorry, but how did you figure out that you- liked- guys?"

"Oh, umm"

"Sorry, you don't have to answer" She looked away

"No- it's ok" I assured her "Honestly I don't exactly know. I guess at first I remember hearing my father mention that it was against the 'rules' to like someone of the same gender as yourself, so at first I thought maybe I would get a boyfriend just to piss him off, but then- I don't know–. We– Thomas, Circe, and myself all approach dating differently than most people. Our father was born under a love potion and was basically unable to feel love, and I think some of that transferred to us- not like we couldn't feel love, but we didn't know what it felt like, I had never seen what love was until I saw some of the people dating at this school, so it was all rather confusing at first, I didn't even know if I was attracted to anyone because I didn't feel the sort of thing love was suppose to feel like, I thought I might be Acesexual, but then, I don't know, I started becoming closer with Theodore, really good friends, then one day, something just happened, and I knew I never wanted to live in a world without him and a lot of other things, and I finally felt something that felt like love, or at least something close to it. It's hard to explain" I shook my head "And when I heard Theodore liked me somewhat too, then that sealed it. It wasn't as much as a moment when I was like 'I think I might be gay or bi' it was just" I shrugged my shoulders "I just thought 'Yeah, I'm gay or bi, and that's that no need to fight against it'"

"But what about what your friends and family would think, did you wonder about that?"

"It doesn't matter what they think. I could care less about what my dad thinks, or my mom, or anyone. If you're ok with it- great, if you hate it- to bad"

"How are you so careless when the world around you is like- messed up"

"I'm not necessarily careless- well maybe I am, but you only live once, and I'm not letting anyone control my life for me, I want to do what I want" She looked down "Can I ask what this is about, I could possibly help you" I offered

"I don't know, I just, I think I might be bi, but I'm not sure if I just really like being near them, or I- I like them, and I also don't want them to turn me down, because then I will feel terrible and what if they're straight then I make a fool out of myself"

It was probably Circe, and I thought through it in my head and I was totally unsure of how she would react. A part of me wants to think she would be happy to be with Indu, but another part of me was scared that she would turn her down since she's not big on relationships and probably has the confusion about love the most out of me, her, and Thomas. "I don't know what to tell you, but if your thinking about who I think your thinking about, then I think that even if they don't like you that way, they would still continue to be friends with you"