Dear Diary: 1/1 [Angst]

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Author's Note: After much ruminating, contemplation, and discussion with friends, I have ultimately decided to share this fic publicly (it has lived in our Discord server for a little while).

If anyone has any negative feelings about the sensitive nature of the content in this fiction piece, please don't hesitate to reach out. I am always open to feedback and willing to remove the fic entirely from public viewing. 🫶🏻

While there are no major trigger warnings, there are light references to past substance abuse.

Thank you for reading, as always! I am grateful for the 'stars', comments, and readers. It is always heartwarming to see that someone takes the time to read something I've shared.

Dear Diary

As Jill opened the document, the words penned by her daughter pierced through her like shards of glass. The weight of the revelation hit her with such force that she had to close her laptop, take a deep breath, and compose herself before returning to the task of meticulously handwriting her lesson plans.

Her pen scratched against the paper, the comforting act of forming each letter by hand grounding her. Jill was a self-described 'pen and paper person'. She found it much more cathartic to write words down rather than tapping them onto a screen. But despite her eforts to focus, her mind was clouded with a thick fog. She rested the pen down beside her and threw her head back, staring at the ceiling for a moment.

Just then, Joe slipped into the room, a somber expression on his face. "I suppose you heard," he stated, his voice heavy with concern.
"Why can't they just leave us alone?" Jill's voice wavered with emotion, her frustration palpable. "Our children should be of limits. What hold does this man have on people that they'd stoop so low?"

Joe's gaze was a mix of understanding and confusion as he tried to make sense of the chaos that had been unleashed upon them himself. "I don't understand what they're getting at with this. These sick fucks - Sorry."

Jill looked down at her hands, "We're past apologizing for profanity. Besides, you're just saying what we're all thinking."

"Did you talk to Ashley..."

The mention of their daughter's name hung heavily in the air. "No," Jill confessed, her voice shaking. "I don't think she wants to hear from me anyway."

"Jill, of course she does. Why would you think otherwise?" He questioned, but she didn't answer. "Jill," he repeated more sternly and waited for her to answer.

"It's fine, Joe." "Like hell it is."

As Joe pressed her to open up, Jill's carefully constructed facade began to crumble. The floodgates of emotion burst open, her words tumbling out in a rush of raw honesty and unfiltered despair.

"I hate this. I hate all of this and I don't know if any of it was worth it. If I had known what would have happened, I am not sure I'd have agreed to any of this," she said bitterly, her chest rising and falling. "I wish you'd never run."

The confession hung between them, a heavy silence settling in the room as the weight of their shared pain pressed down upon them.

"No," he approached her, "you can't pin this on me, Jill. We ran, as a family. I warned everyone, I saw it coming-"

"Well, not all of us have your foresight, Joe. I can't handle losing another child because of this."

The words stung as they left her mouth and the pain etched on his face was almost too much for her to bear. Before she could apologize - to beg him to forgive her for saying something so cutting - a wave of nausea took hold of her.

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⏰ Last updated: May 01 ⏰

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