Brewing Desire

Brewing Desire - One Shot

Hermione had been through hell and back the past three years. She'd spent her fifth year being hounded by that awful Umbridge woman, following the disaster that happened at the Ministry. Her sixth year had been marked by awful hormones and the terrible death of Dumbledore, orchestrated by one Draco Malfoy. And then she'd had to go Horcrux hunting for several months, surviving on the run without food, only to wrap it up with the final battle of a full-blown war. A war that had taken so much from her, both friends and pieces of herself.

It left Hermione feeling like someone other than herself, like she somehow had broken during the war and a piece of her was missing somewhere. Like she was a shell of who she once had been.

Going back to Hogwarts hadn't been on her agenda, but she did it because it was something Hermione Granger would do. Not many of her peers would be joining her, from what she had gathered. Harry and Ron had been offered positions in the Auror Department even though they did not have their NEWT's. Apparently, fighting Voldemort and becoming a war hero was all it took to be accepted into their ranks without the correct education. She too had been offered a position in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement as an Auror, but Hermione was tired .

Tired of fighting. Tired of having to be older than her years. Tired of having to be the responsible one that solved everyone's problems time and time again. Tired of always being on edge.

She had considered the offers that came from the Department for Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, as well as the offer to train under one of St. Mungo's most prominent healers. But she had seen enough. Cried enough. She didn't think she had it in her to thrive as a healer, not any more. Some vital part of her got beaten away during the war, and she wasn't all that sure if she even wanted to go back to the person she once was. Or if she even could.

So, she had ended up declining every offer she'd gotten, claiming she wanted to continue her studies, sit for her NEWTs and receive a full diploma. No one had argued. There was nothing out of the ordinary with Hermione Granger wanting to study some more, was it? No. They all smiled, delighted that she was back to herself. Not even Harry or Ron read more into it.

She was doing what everyone thought she would and should be doing. The only problem was that she wasn't doing it for the same reasons anymore. Where she had once been the person to come back for a final year of studies simply because she couldn't imagine ever missing an entire school year, she now did it to be able to get some peace and quiet. To figure out who the hell she was nowadays. But standing before the grand staircase made her queasy, and she was no longer sure she'd made the right decision coming back to Hogwarts.

There was so much death and sorrow buried inside these walls now. Hogwarts had been a home for her filled with happiness and love, but she could now only sense the coldness of death's final touch. Images of lives lost flashed through her mind, as she vividly remembered seeing them being killed in front of her.

They had done a marvellous job of restoring the castle to its former glory, but she knew the fundamental destruction it had been through, for she had felt it as well. She had broken with it. And now ... it seemed like she was the only person still in pieces.

She stood facing the staircase for several minutes, simply watching it as if she could see through to the cracks it once held. A movement to her left startled her out of her miserable thoughts.

"Are you alright 'Mione?" came Nevillie's familiar voice behind her, as he came to stand beside her and offered his hand.

A smile broke out on her otherwise stoic face. Thank Godric Neville would be here this year. At least she had one ally in all of this. She turned towards her first-ever friend and clasped her hand in his.