iris | one tree hill

18. what could have been

Lucas pushed Ethan's hand away.

"It's my brother, Ethan. You wouldn't understand...." Lucas didn't finish speaking because Ethan had already turned his back to Lucas, cutting him off.

"Screw you, Luke."

Ethan found Karen sitting in an armchair talking to Whitey.

"He needs to know what's happened with Nathan, and Ethan..." Karen started crying at Whitey's side. "I can't even leave him a message. Where is he, Whitey?" Karen cried.

"I whish I knew." Whitey replied.

"Me too." Ethan whispered.

Ethan went to Andy's house, and as soon as the boy sat down on the bed, Andy appeared and sat down next to him.

"Ethan, how would you feel about talking to someone?" Andy asked the boy in a soft, calm voice.

Ethan turned his face to look at Andy.

"What? Like a therapist?" Andy nodded. "Andy, I'm not crazy." Ethan replied.

"I know you're not crazy, Ethan. Therapists aren't for crazy people, but maybe it'll be good for you." Andy tried to explain to the boy.

"You don't have to pay someone to talk to me. I talk to Emma, and Brooke sometimes." Ethan replied.

Andy put his hand on the boy's shoulder.

"I know. I'm just saying that talking to someone who can help you understand your emotions, put your thoughts in order can be helpful. I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to, Ethan." Andy said to the boy, who was looking down at his feet as he fiddled with his fingers.

"Do you think I need one?" Ethan muttered.

"I think this can help you with a few things, Ethan." Andy replied.

"Okay."

[....]

Emma had managed to get Deb to convince the nurses to let her spend the night keeping Nathan company. It hadn't been easy, considering that a nurse had kicked Luke, Peyton and Brooke out of the boy's room.

As soon as the group had left Nathan's room, the nurse went back to turn off the light and looked at Emma who was coming in, as she had gone to say goodbye to her sister.

"Let him rest." The nurse said to Emma, and the girl nodded.

Emma sat down in the armchair next to Nathan's bed.

"Emm's, can you put the phone closer?"

Emma didn't question it, and gently placed the phone on Nathan's lap, who made a call.

"It's me, Nathan. I'm gonna be okay. Actually, no. It's not okay. Don't come home, Haley. No you don't. You have to go after your dream, just like I have to go after mine, 'cause if we don't... then we're just gonna end up regretting it. And we're gonna end up resenting each other." Emma heard Nathan saying a few more things to Haly. "Don't come home, Haley. Because I don't want you to."