Devotingly Yours~{Geto Sugaru x Reader}

Ch. 21) Selfless Heroes and selfish villains'

I sat on the floor of my apartment, picking up the glass from the spilled liquor bottle. I missed him so much. I missed him so much, oh god. How long had it been since he had kissed me? Since he had held me like that? Since we had an argument? I silently cried, just letting him linger in my mind. I miss him. Oh god I miss him.

Three knocks on the door, luckily took my attention away from the mess in my kitchen. I quickly hurried to the door, this time looking through the peep hole. Nanami stood on the other side, surprisingly not in a suit. I opened the door quickly inviting him in as I turned away from him. I focused back on the pile of glass in hopes that he wouldn't see my puffy face.

"It's late you know?" 

"Y/n, dear. What are you doing?" He questioned, shutting the door behind him.

"Uh, I broke something."

"Oh here, let me help you." He knelt down next to me, taking in my features. "You've been crying. Why?" He quickly began scooping the glass into his hands, not caring about the sharp edges.

"Nanami, be careful." I reached out by his hand, attempting to take some glass, but he just pulled away from me, quickly throwing it in the trash can.

"Why were you crying?" He pressed.

"I'm fine. I wasn't."

"We've been around each other enough for me to know when you're not alright. So tell me."

"Uh, well... I saw Sugaru tonight." I stated throwing out a chunk of glass.

"What? Oh my, are you okay?" He questioned, stopping what he was doing.

Those words hit like a brick, ringing in my head, and I remembered everything. His hands on me, his lips on me, his actions, his words, and I lost it.

"Oh Y/n." Nanami picked me up and carried me away from the glass. He sat me on the couch, letting me cry for the 100th time. "It's okay. Do you want to tell me what happened?" He questioned stroking my hair.

"Well, he came over, and explained everything. He hates regular people and sorcerers who dedicate themselves to protecting 'useless monkeys'. I told him I'm no different but he thinks I am because I saved him. He said he'd change Nanami, and then he kissed me goodbye." I sobbed into his shoulder, and he held me.

"I'm beginning to lose hope Y/n." His words were soft as he stroked my hair.

"No No, please don't lose hope. He'll come around. I know him, I know he will." My heart raced at the thought. It hurt. It ached so bad.

"Nanami I love him." I sobbed. I sobbed so hard I could feel myself choking, shaking, getting dizzy. I couldn't breathe all over again and suddenly I was in that stairwell all over again.

"I know. I know. Y/n, listen to me. You need to calm down. You're gonna hyperventilate and have a panic attack." He sat me up, looking at me with a worried expression. His hands were on both of my shoulders, trying to hold me still. That's when I noticed his appearance. He was in a t-shirt and joggers, and his hair was... undone? Un styled, and messy even.

"Did you wake up and come here?" I questioned through unsteady breathing.

"What? I- yes I did." He answered removing his hands from my shoulders. My right one felt wet, earning my attention. What the hell? Blood?

"Nanami, let me see your hand." I questioned, sniffling as I tried to regain myself.

"Why?"

"Nanami, Just let me see." I held my hand out waiting for him to show me his hand.

"It's really nothing."

"Please, let me see your hand Nanami." I pleaded earning an eyeroll from him as he finally gave in. A jagged looking cut was staring right at me from the bottom of his palm.

"I told you to be careful with the glass." I scolded him through puffy eyes, which surprisingly earned a smile from him.  I got up, quickly scurrying to retrieve my first aid kit.

"Why did you come here if you just woke up?" I returned, quickly opening my kit.

"I actually woke up because I had a bad feeling, and you weren't picking up so I knew something was wrong." He smiled watching me get to work on his hand.

"I really don't know what I would do without you." I smiled back at him. "You've picked me up so many times Nanami, I don't know how I could ever thank you enough."

"You can thank me by not killing yourself by waiting for him to change. Yes it might happen Y/n, but it's not guaranteed. I want you to live a healthy, happy life. That's what you deserve, not this. Not what he's putting you through."

"But I love him."

"Sometimes... Y/n, just because you love someone, doesn't mean you get to have them." He spoke quietly, as if he spoke from experience. His eyes lingered on mine, reading me like an open book, before quickly averting them back to his hand.

"Want to talk about it?" I asked, feeling eager to know. He smiled, that of a sad smile. A smile of grief.

He hesitated, staring at the floor, but that's when he said: "She's a nurse. And a good one at that." He looked back at his hand, and my heart beat in my throat. No he couldn't... he couldn't...

"Thank you for fixing my hand. You should head to bed. I'll get the rest of the glass." He stood, and I did quickly after him.

"Nanami-"

"Don't say anything Y/n. Please. I know you love him, I know." He turned, moving towards me.

"That's why I will not be selfish with you." He took my head in his hands, looking into my eyes before kissing my forehead in the softest way I have ever felt.

"Please get some rest." He smiled that sad smile all over again, before sending me to bed.

A/N:

Haiiii guys! I hope you're doing okay after the angst! I was feeling a bit angsty today but I promise things will get better soon! I miss him too! I love you all and I hope you're doing okay, really!

New A/N:
Hey guys. So i see you're really liking nanami 😍😍! If you'd like i can do a spin off series where she does end up with nanami, like an alternate ending or i can write a fanfic separately for him. But since this is sugaru's story, she will end up with him. Just let me know what you guys would like by commenting. Thank you for all the love 😁