Loving you is a losing game (ONC 2024)

Chapter 10- Liam

Trigger warnings- Mentions of sex, but not explicit.

I can't believe I just told Imogen the truth about my dad. I don't even know why I was so scared. She's just amazing.

Now it's my turn to be the listener.

"Ok, so, first, I just want to say that this is something you might not be ok with," she says. "The main reason I didn't want to tell you is because I was scared of losing you."

I grab her hand and press it to my lips, kissing it softly. "I'll try to understand."

She gives me a weak smile. "I-I'm Asexual."

I let go of her hand and stare into her eyes. "You're what?"

"I'm Asexual. It means I don't feel any sexual attraction to anyone."

"So, you're not in love with me? You're just saying you are 'cause you're playing with my feelings?" I can't understand why she would do this to me.

Now it's her turn to grab my hand. "No! No! I am in love with you! Being Asexual means I don't feel any sexual attraction towards someone. Someone who is Asexual can fall in love, but they will never feel the urge to have sex with someone. Sometimes they don't even know why they don't feel that way, sometimes they do. For me, I find sex disgusting and even seeing people do it in movies or reading it in books is really hard for me to read or watch. It doesn't mean I'll feel this way forever. It also doesn't stop me from having sex, but right now, where I am currently, I don't want to have sex."

I can't believe that's what she wanted to tell me. That's what she was so scared of?

When I don't reply for a couple of minutes, she starts crying.

"Hey, hey, don't cry," I soothe, and I pull her into a hug again. She cries into my shirt and I rub my hand up and down her back. Trying to calm her down.

When she's a little calmer, I say, "Immy, I'm not going to break up with you."

"W-What?"

"I'm not going to break up with you," I repeat. "I love you, and I said I would do anything to be with you. I accept that you're Asexual and I promise I will never pressure you into doing anything you're not ready for. I'd like to think that if you ever feel differently, you'll tell me, but if that never changes, I don't care."

She pulls away from me, "b-but, your joke in the cafeteria. You made a joke about...."

Her voice trails off, but I don't need her to finish. "Oh, Immy, that wasn't a dig against you. I was trying to shame some of the other kids in this place. Those kids who brag about how many people they've slept with. I'm not like that and I never will be."

"So, you still love me?"

Once again I pull her into my chest. She grimaces a little as she feels just how wet my shirt is with her tears and I laugh a little. "Imogen, I will always love you. I will love you when I marry you, I will love you if we choose to adopt kids, I will love you when our hypothetical kids get married and I will love you even when we're dead. You are my world. I want nothing more than to be with you. I am so proud of you for telling me."

"Thank you so much, Liam. I wish I could say my parents felt the same way."

"Did they not accept you being Asexual?" I ask.

"No, they didn't. My stepdad thought I was just being silly, that it was just some new trend people use to describe themselves. My mum was devastated when she learned she might not be a grandmother and she said I'd get over it when we did it for the first time. She said you'd help me get over it. That's another reason why I was scared to tell you."

"Oh, Immy. I will never pressure you into doing anything. I'll be here to help your parents understand, and I want to prove to them that I'm not like all the boys they've ever met. I don't care about that side of a relationship. I want someone I can be with to make memories with and do all the stuff I missed out on with my own family."

"I can be that person for you. And thank you for helping me with my parents. I guess that means you're meeting my parents first?"

I smile at her. "I think we'll have a little more chance of helping your parents understand you than getting my dad to understand me. Besides, your parents made the most beautiful girl in the world, so they have a lot more to lose than my parents."

We kiss and I have never been happier. She kisses me like it's our first. Like no matter what happens to us, we will be here together. For a few moments the rest of the world is on pause and there's just Imogen and me, together forever, never to be pulled apart.