No contact

No contact (short story)

Right now, life has been so weird. We did no contact for 2 weeks and I broke it first. I broke it because I wanted to feel comfort and I normally feel comfort when I'm with you. I miss you. You spoke to me so softly, you were so sweet to me you normally are sweet to me. Typing how I'm feeling about our situation right now is my last sort of solution to trying to feel sane. After I broke no contact we spoke a few days more but the conversations extended over a couple days only because of your reply time. I'm not upset about it tho, I can't be. We stopped officially talking again after Tuesday. But then you texted me this morning around 7:30 and you said 'How u doing, just wanted to check up on you' I heard the message come through but I had no idea it was going to be from you; I least expected it from you even but I responded quickly like I usually do. I asked about yourself and I did try and continue the convo but I can't tell if you wanted to or not but I definitely got the hint when you left me on read. My friend said I shouldn't worry about it too much but that's all I can do. I really wished you didn't reach out, only because now all the emotions I had at the start of no contact are starting to creep in, I've thought about you so much today the most I think I've thought about you this whole week. The pain in my chest is slowly creeping in again, I miss you more than ever. I won't know if you will ever feel the same I don't even fully know why you messaged me today, you didn't have to. I really want to start over with you. I don't see myself with anyone else . The tears are starting again, I have not cried about you in about a week. I should stop crying bc of these lashes tbh but my love for you is clearly so strong and don't think you'll ever understand that. I still wear your hoodie even tho it doesn't smell like you anymore. I still wear it, The amount of my tears which have soaked it tho, that's my bad I had to wash it because after our convo on that Monday I wore it non-stop for like 3 days. Did you text me bc you felt bad or bc you genuinely wanted to know how I was doing.