2.2 Dobby

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[Harry and Juniper go upstairs as the doorbell rings.]

Vernon: [from below] Mr. and Mrs. Mason! Do come in!

[Harry and Juniper hear someone laughing madly in their room. Harry opens the door to find, a house elf named bouncing on his bed.]

Dobby: Harry and Juniper Potter! Such an honor it is! [Harry closes the door.]

Harry: Who are you?

Dobby: Dobby sir, Dobby the house elf.

Juniper: Awwwww aren't you just adorable! I'm keeping you

Dobby: Well miss you actually can't do th-

Juniper: Too bad, you're mine now.

Harry: Not to be to be rude or anything, but this isn't a great time for me to have a house elf in our bedroom

Dobby: Oh, oh, yes, sir! Dobby understands! It's just that, Dobby has come to tell you- it is difficult, sir- Dobby wonders where to begin?

Juniper: Why don't you sit down?

"Shouldn't have said that." Regulus says.

Dobby: S-sit down? S-sit- sit down? [he soon begins to cry]

Juniper: Dobby, ssh! I'm sorry! [Dobby cries louder] I didn't mean to offend you, or anything.

Dobby: [stops crying when he hears that word] Offend Dobby? Dobby has heard of your greatness, ma'am, but never has he been asked to sit down by a witch or a wizard, like an equal.

Harry: You can't have met many decent wizards then.

Dobby: No, I haven't. That was an awful thing to say. [he then bangs his head on the dresser drawer repeatedly] Bad Dobby! Bad Dobby! Bad Dobby!

Juniper: Stop, Dobby! Dobby, shh! Dobby, please stop!

[From downstairs in the living room, the Dursleys and the Masons are having some wine as they hear the banging from above.]

Vernon: Oh, don't mind that. It's just the... cat! [he chuckles lightly, as Mr. and Mrs. Mason look on, being convinced and concerned at the same time.]

Dobby: [still banging his head on the drawer] Bad Dobby!

Juniper: Dobby, stop! Please be quiet. Are you all right?

Dobby: Dobby had to punish himself, ma'am. [pushes a stool closer to Juniper and Harry] Dobby almost spoke ill of his family, ma'am.

Harry: Your family?

Juniper: Awe dang, I can't keep you.

Dobby: The wizard family Dobby serves, sir. [gets up and sits on the stool] Dobby is bound to serve one family forever. If they knew Dobby was here... [shivers] But Dobby had to come. Dobby has to protect Harry and Juniper Potter. To warn them. Harry and Juniper Potter must not go back to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year. [Harry and Juniper look at him in surprise] There is a plot, a plot to make most terrible things happen.

Harry: What terrible things? Who's plotting them?

Dobby: [trying to resist himself from saying something] Oh, he! Can't say!

Harry: Okay, I understand. You can't say.

Dobby: Don't make me talk. L-- [He gets on the desk, grabs the lamp and hits himself with it.] Bad Dobby!

Juniper: Dobby? Dobby, put the lamp down. [Dobby keeps hitting himself, in the living room, Vernon is still doing his conversation with the Masons.]

Vernon: So, when they arrive at the ninth hole-- [Dobby's shout is heard, Vernon hears it upstairs while looking suspicious.]

Harry: [trying to grab the lamp from Dobby] Give me the lamp! [Dobby keeps straining until Harry hears Vernon coming upstairs] Dobby, stop! [He finally grabs it from Dobby, grabs his rags, hides him in the closet, and closes the door] Get in there and keep quiet!

Vernon: [opening the door, stomping into the room, and glaring at Harry] What the devil are you doing up here?!

Harry: I was just... [Dobby slowly opens the closet door; Harry pushes it closed]

Vernon: You've just ruined the punchline of my Japanese golfer joke.

Harry: Sorry. [closes the closet door again]

Vernon: [glances at the closet door, unaware of Dobby's presence, then lifts his finger as he turns his eyes back to Harry] One more sound, and you'll wish you'd never been born, boy. [He glares at Juniper too, then sees the closet door opening again] And fix that door.

Harry: [closing the door again] Yes, sir. [Vernon glares at Harry as he walks out of the room, pulling the door closed; with Vernon gone, Harry opens the closet door to let Dobby out] See why we've got to go back? [Dobby removes a sock from his ear] We don't belong here; We belong in your world, at Hogwarts. [Dobby sniffs the sock and throws it aside and turns to Harry] It's the only place we've got friends.

Dobby: Friends who don't even write to Harry and Juniper Potter?

"How does he know?" James asks

Juniper: Well, we expect they've been--hang on, how do you know our friends haven't been writing us?

Dobby: Harry and Juniper Potter mustn't be angry with Dobby. Dobby hoped if Harry and Juniper Potter thought their friends had forgotten them, Harry and Juniper Potter might not want to go back to school, sir, ma'am... [he holds up the stack of letters]

Harry: Give me those. Now.

Dobby: No! [Harry attempts to grab Dobby; he dodges, runs for the door, opens it, and races out of the room with Harry chasing after him. Juniper looks at the door, then looks at her bed and decides to lay down. Dobby stops at the kitchen doorway, looking at Petunia's cake. In the background, Vernon is talking to the Masons. Dobby glances back at Harry with what looks like a devilish smile.]

Harry: Dobby, get back here! [still smiling in a kind-of-devilish way, Dobby shakes his head "no" and snaps his fingers, causing the cake to levitate] Dobby... Please... No.

Dobby: Harry Potter must say he and Juniper Potter are not going back to school.

Harry: I can't. Hogwarts is our home.

Dobby: Then Dobby must do it, sir. For Harry Potter's own good.

[With a smug look on his face, he snaps his fingers again, causing the cake to float out of the kitchen; Harry pushes Dobby aside as he steps into the living room to see the cake moving towards the Dursleys and the Masons]

Vernon: One plumber says "Look at all that water.", and the second plumber says "Yes, and that's just the top of it."

[Harry holds up his hands in an attempt to grab the cake. Vernon, Petunia, and Dudley all look in surprise to see the floating cake with Harry attempting to catch it as floats towards Mrs. Mason. Watching from around the corner, unseen, Dobby snaps his fingers again, causing the cake to fall and splatter all over Mrs. Mason.]

Vernon: I'm so sorry. It's my nephew. He's very disturbed. [Harry turns around to face Dobby, who backs away] Meeting strangers upsets him, that's why I kept him upstairs.

[Harry glares at Dobby with an angry look on his face that says "Thanks a lot, Dobby. I'm going to be in huge trouble now, because of you." Dobby snaps his fingers and vanishes into thin air]

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