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(TW: self-hate, ED)

Y/N's POV

        I woke up and yawned, stretching out my arms a bit. I glanced over noticing Johnnie was gone from my side. I glanced around to trying to see if he was somewhere else in the room. I slowly lifted myself off my bed.

       My feet hit the cold floor and I shivered. I stood up and walked out of my room, shutting the door behind me. I walked to the living room and Tara was sitting on the couch on her phone. "Where's Johnnie and Jake?" I asked glancing around. She glanced up at me, "They left a little bit ago, did you sleep well?" She added the last bit with a small smirk. My cheeks got a bit of a pink tint. "Yeah.." I muttered. "I know, I went to go ask you something ans you were all cuddled up in Johnnie's arms sleeping like a baby." She teased.

        "Shut up Tara!" I exclaimed, blushing a bit. "Alright, alright. But anyways, they invited us out to dinner and they want you to go. They said it's their treat since we bought drinks last night and let them stay here or whatever. " She explained. I gave a small nod, "Alright, what time?" I asked. Tara looked down at her phone then back at me, "Uh.. so don't get mad but- in 30 minutes."

         My eyebrows raised and I looked at her in disbelief, "WHAT" I shouted. "It's not my fault! I couldn't wake you, you were sleeping so peacefully!" She yelled back. I rubbed under my eyes and groaned, "Alright whatever, I'm gonna go speed-run getting ready or something.

         I walked to the bathroom and turned on the shower then went to grab a towel and brought my makeup bag into the bathroom. I got back in the bathroom and took off my sweats and my tee shirt. I paused at my undergarments as I noticed myself in the mirror of the bathroom. It made my skin crawl, I turned away avoided looking at myself. I finished undressing and got in the shower.

       I closed my eyes and leaned my head back a bit, letting the hot water trickle against my skin, I guess I made the water a bit hotter than intended because the water burnt and steamed as it hit me. I didn't mind that boiling feeling against my skin though, it was comforting. Realizing I barely had any time left I rushed through my shower, washing my hair and body then getting out and wrapping myself in a towel. I checked my phone and saw I barely had any time left. 

        I rushed brushing my teeth, trying to multi task and put my clothes on at the same time while also pulling out the makeup from my bag that I'd need. I finished brushing my teeth and getting on my clothes. I put on a white tank top with lace along the top tucked into slightly large black cargo pants with chains along the sides and a black leather jacket with a gray hood. I put on a few rings and a combination of some of my favorite necklaces then I started working on my makeup.

       I grabbed a makeup brush that was stained black from doing my makeup with it so often (no one understands my pain😔) and started putting a dark red eye shadow around my eyes. I then added black on the outer ends of it and under my eyes before putting black eyeliner on my waterline and bringing it out into a wing. I put on a nude red tinted lip gloss with dark brown blended out lip-liner. 

      "Y/NNN!" Tara shouted, "Jake and Johnnie are here!" 

      Shit. I thought to myself, sure I'm completely ready to go already but..-

      I looked back at myself in the mirror, I ran my fingers across my skin. It felt a bit bumpy from acne, I'd covered it up with concealer but the feeling bothered me. Is this too much? I asked myself as I looked at my outfit and makeup. I swallowed and bit my lip before forcing myself to get off the bathroom counter, grab my phone and purse, and walk out the bathroom.

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