My Issues- Not Yours

Chapter 1

Okay... so.

When I was little I always wanted to be a princess, live my fairytale, marry my prince and live happily ever after.

Didn't we all?

I never thought that I would be where I am right now. Screaming and yelling at a student in my class because I forgot to take my meds.

"YOU FUCKER! YOU FUCKER! I'LL KILL YOU! YOU MOTHER FUCKER!"

Okay so let me explain.

I'm not batshit crazy. I just have issues, but don't we all?

Yeah, apparently mine are "severe issues", it's not my fault I get angry, it's not my fault the little shit in my class decided to torment me.

When I was 10, I got diagnosed with anger issues which meant I had to take two pills a day to remain calm. That worked until I reached middle school where everything went to shit. All of a sudden even my pills weren't enough anymore and I'd lose it if someone insulted me or even if I got a bad grade in a test, I'd lose it. There'd be screaming and yelling and air punching. The doctors then started making me take four pills a day which I'm sure is not healthy, anyway it worked I guess, I also had to take meditation for an hour and a half a day not to mention "drink three litres of water a day", like I'm sorry but what will drinking fucking water do?

Anyway here I am now, in high school, freshman to be exact, my anger has gotten worse, I still need to take my pills and do my meditation but now I also need to write in a journal to get my emotions out and talk to this twenty two year old college graduate who "gets me", yeah right bitch, fuck off.

So, here I am, like I said, yelling at a kid in my class.

"YOU FUCKER! HOW DARE YOU!"

Okay so maybe I haven't explained thoroughly, this kid in my class (his name is Hayden btw) has been playing mind games with me, acting like he cares about me, then completely ignoring me for a week, apologising, only to ignore me for two weeks next time. Then, when I finally found a real friend (Jake), Hayden bounces back saying how he apparently set me up with Jake and how Jake "doesn't actually like me and how I'm apparently holding him backs from doing the things he loves because I always complain about my mental state and that sidetracks him".

Ummmm...no. No I do not.

"WHEN HAVE I EVER COMPLAINED. TELL ME. I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW. I DON'T EVEN LIKE THINKING ABOUT IT WHY WOULD I BRAG AND COMPLAIN ABOUT IT TO EVERYONE!" I yell at Hayden.

"When you always go 'poor me, ugh, jacob I'm so sorry you have to deal with me'" Hayden says in a smug impersonation of my voice.

"I HAVE NEVER SAID THAT!" I snap back. 

"Oh yes you have." Still, that smug look. Okay fine, so he wants to gaslight and be bitchy, I'll be the bitchiess gaslighter there ever was.

"Oh yeah? Well at least I don't cheat on my girlfriend with Taylor Hawkins every Friday lunchtime when you're supposed to be in the library 'studying' when really your actually in the broom closet giving Taylor love bites." I smirk, it was a Friday today, and it was the last period, just after lunch and Taylor even had a love bite on her neck from probably one of the other popular guys but that love bite just made what I said look even realer, and the fact Hayden's girlfriend was standing right there, made everything hundred times better.

Hayden's girlfriend Lisa teared up. "Hubbybubby tell me this isn't true." She whimpers. Ugh. Hubbybubby. Might as well call him your pet. That's probably the one time I'll ever feel sorry for Hayden, being called 'Hubbybubby'. Yuck, I'd rather have someone carve their name into my stomach and chop my ears off.

"Of course not snookams, you know I'm yours and only yours." Hayden says in a panicky tone, cupping Lisa's face. "But why is their  a lovebite on Taylor's neck?" Lisa asked.

"Shit." Hayden muttered. 

I giggle to myself as I let it unfold. Lisa marches off, Taylor stands there like a stunned mullet, Hayden begging Lisa to believe him before he turns to me.

"You bitch! I knew there was something wrong in your head!" Hayden tells me as he points a finger at me.

He just went there. Alright. Fair enough. But as they say...an eye for an eye.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ugh great.

I'm here with Jeoja, pronounced Georgia. Remember that twenty year old who supposedly understands me? Yeah her.

"So, what happened on Friday?" She asked.

Which part should I tell her? The tormenting? The gaslighting? The 'cheating'? Or the part where I kick him in the nuts?

Jeoja, unfolds a note and reads it. "This is a note from the school, apparently you had kicked Hayden in the testacles and said 'There you go cunt, now you will never orgasm properly again, and you will forever never get girls because your dick will have shrunk by two inches so you'll have nothing there to fuck them with?'"  She raised one eyebrow at me which added another ten years to her age. "You also told him to 'Die in a pit of  slutty bitches that you'll never be able to satisfy' and to 'die you Fucker, die' ?"

I smirk, a bit proud knowing that's exactly what I did. 

Of course I kick him in the nuts. Of course I had to comment about his sexual life.

In fact, I swear I heard a crunch.

Jeoja looked at me disappointed and I knew to immediately clean my smug smirk off my face, so that's what I did.

"Why did you do this?" Jeoja asked. 

"I was pissed." I shrugged.

"There has to be a reason." Jeoja sighs.

I didn't want to tell her about Jake or about the mind games but I knew I had to.

I explained it all to her in incredible detail...