all too well // august horn av årnäs x reader

27

"then let me explain so that you do."

he stared at me with a cold glance.
one i was familiar with; distant and unhappy.
and the same one he'd given me the time he was upset at me for a couple days because of what happened at felice's movie night.

he rolled his eyes at my comment, but still didn't exit the room like i was expecting him to.

he wanted to hear what i had to say.

"i-"
"my feelings for him are nothing more than platonic. he's my friend."
"you're always busy- either you're at the gym or rowing practice or something to do with being prefect or studying."

"i have to be a good student somehow?!"
he responded.

"i know- i know..." i replied, my voice getting gradually quieter in frustration and regret.

i took a deep breath.

this was my only chance at explaining myself to him. i couldn't mess it up.

"you are truly the only boy at hillerska who i am interested in. and have been-"
"you-"

i paused, trying to gather my thoughts

"do you really think i would let a random guy sleep over at my dorm? because i would not. i'm not like that."

i took a step closer to him, hoping he wouldn't move away.

he stayed still.

i reached for his hands and held them in mine, looking up at him.

"it's just you, august. i promise."

his eyes softened at my gesture and his sight drifted from my own eyes down to our interlocked hands.

he closed his eyes and whispered.
"okay."
then brought his hand up to my hair, stroking it gently like he'd do before.

he pulled me in for a hug, keeping his hand on my head.
my own head now rested on his chest and my arms were wrapped around him.

he pulled away, keeping his hands on my shoulders.
"är vi okej nu?" he asked with his eyebrows raised.

we were okay and on good terms, for once.
hopefully this time it'd last longer than the last one.

"yeah." i nodded.

he used his hands to pull me closer to him again and placed a kiss on my forehead.

after a couple seconds he cringed his face on annoyance, as if he had just realised something.
"dumma jävla wilhelm." he groaned.
"i-"
"y/n, i- i would love to stay with you but i have to go check up on wille."

i looked at him confused.
this felt like it just came out of nowhere.

"oh? is he alright?" i asked.

"yes... he just took a lot more stuff than i did."

"he was with you last night?"

"yeah- yeah. it was like this meeting for a thing we have. like a club."
"i don't know where he went. he just disappeared and i- i came here instead of looking for him, so."

i had a lot of questions- part of which wouldn't sound exactly 'passive'.
so... i stayed quiet, just for the sake of not causing another argument to arise between us two.

"well, let me know if he's okay." i finally spoke. i walked closer to him, realising he had moved over to in front of where my window was.

"i will, i will."
he quickly placed a soft kiss on my lips and then opened the window, exiting out of my dorm.

i watched his tall figure get farther and farther away.
then i put down my window and shut my curtains closed.

i plopped down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling.

what the hell just happened in the past twelve hours?