Update;
First I want to apologize for the frankly ominous nature of the last entry. I was freaking out and I thought that I could get it out of my system if I wrote about it. Needless to say, by the time I was done writing I was still FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. So I did something very stupid.
I said a while ago last time that I think my lack of sleep has affected my judgment and well, it has!I made an attempt to leave the house which was, admittedly, a bad idea. A poor decision if you will. I thought if I could just get to my car then I could drive away. It's been two months and as stated previously, I haven't left my house.
It's been hard to do anything. Most of my days are filled with nothing more than ennui, that is until the front door comes into my line of sight. That's when the boredom fades and I start to focus on the knocking and the silhouettes in the window. The two small shadows. I know they can see me and I know they're waiting. For the past week I had this thought in the back corners of my mind,
"What would happen if I left?" I thought, "they can't come into the house they can't touch me if I took a bag and Winnie and just ran for my car I might be able to leave" so that's exactly what I did (despite the fact that the can't-come-in and can't-touch-this theories have not been proven).
I filled a backpack with the essentials and carried Winnie bridal style as I reached for the door. There they were just staring. I stared back for a while. It was like I was a deer frozen in the otherworldly glow of headlights. Then the moment was gone. I booked it, pushing past them half expecting them to lurch after me to follow to grab at my ankles and pull me back to hell.
But, they didn't. They just stood there watching me leave. Winnie barked and kicked the entire time. I got into the car and locked it. I was breathing heavily my heart pounding out of my chest
"holy shit"
It was cathartic! I was finally free, finally safe. I wish I could say that that feeling had lasted and that Winnie and I left and never came back, and that we never saw those monsters again.
If that were the case I wouldn't be writing to you. This would be the last thing I'd be doing (no offense.) Instead I looked back to the porch before pulling out. The kids were gone.
BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
all sides of the car were vibrating with the noise. The sound of contorting metal. instantly I turned on the headlights and there were their dark empty eyes staring back at me. Those eyes reflected no light there was no shine, no reflection whatsoever they were just dull. Like they were holes.
I just sat there in the car staring at them. I just froze. I knew that they weren't people. I could just stomp on the gas and go far far away, But they looked like people, they looked like kids. So I sat there until morning. Until I saw the sunrise. I didn't have the guts to go out of the driveway so at 6:00 AM I scooped up Winnie and ran inside.
The door to hell opened and I stayed.
I stayed
I feel like an idiot.
If you have any advice, please,
help.
