marvel imagines

wandanat | new york city streets ( a )

"I'm not a part of the team." You'd responded, not meeting Pepper's eye. You couldn't handle the way she looked at you. Not when her eyes were full of so much empathy and pity that it made you feel like glass. She could look right through everything you built and find a scared teenage girl at your center without knowing you at all. That scared you. She scared you more than Natasha and Wanda ever could, because while she saw a real person, they saw a treat. An enemy. And you would rather be taken for the worst then seen for what you always tried not to be. Real. If you were real it meant that your parents really did choose to abandon you. If you were real it meant that everything that had happened to you in seventeen years was unfortunate and equally undeserved. It was better to just exist as a vigilante in the night then as Y/N.

"You've been a part of this team since you stopped a bomb before it could detonate at Tony's feet. Don't let Natasha and Wanda rattle you, they were in your shoes not that long ago."

Stunned, you hadn't been able to find the words to respond. How had she known? And if she was aware that Natasha and Wanda were bothering you, did they know too? Were they annoyed? Would they hurt you for stirring chaos and problems where it didn't need to be. This was their home. They'd been through hell enough times over to make your pathetic life look like a dream.

"Why did he pick me." You choked out, before Pepper could leave your doorway and enter the elevator to leave you alone.

Pepper smiled a smile that was so maternal it made your insides feel queasy. You didn't deserve this. You'd just been in the wrong place at the right time. "You jumped into an active warzone without a weapon. You are the only reason that Clint's not seriously injured. You're reckless, Y/N. But you're reckless because you have a good heart. That's the only thing that makes any of them an Avenger, with or without powers and serums." Y/N. Pepper was the only one who called you that. Kid seemed to float around your head for anyone to grab at. You weren't sure if hearing your name was grounding or a new reason for you to spiral with a deep-seeded feeling of weightlessness.

Pepper and Tony were the only ones you'd really had a conversation with since the latter had offered you residence and training at the Tower. Steve had tried a handful of times, but you were elusive out of habit to let him in, and settling into this life wasn't easy despite that it should have been. You should be jumping for joy to have a roof over your head, and a shower to bathe in, and food to eat that's not spoiled or out of a garbage bag. There are a lot of things that you should be feeling, but all you can place in the pit of your stomach is a sense of displacement and a very sickening amount of nerves.

"I'll be up in ten." You promised, shutting your eyes tightly. You could do this. You patrolled the streets of New York city in leggings and a hoodie for gods sake (it crossed your mind to start saying thors sake, for obvious mildly funny reasons, but you squandered that joke the second it crossed your mind), you could survive a few hours with the Avengers. Besides, it was the least you could do to show Tony that although feeling misplaced and unwelcome, you did appreciate his faith in you, even if you didn't understand it. He'd been the only one in your life to ever have any positive feelings about you. Losing it now would feel worse than this.

Pepper snickered, eyes light with an emotion she saved for Tony. "You'll be up in five. I wouldn't keep Nat waiting any longer if I were you."

With wide eyes you nodded. This could only go a handful of ways and every outcome you could imagine ended with you feeling worse inside, but you wouldn't let her and Tony down.

-

There was a buzz in the air that felt familiar to the streets of New York City. It wasn't as loud, wasn't as energetic, wasn't rooted in happiness that same way it would've been if you'd been on the streets watching tourists and college students turn the night young like them, but it felt similar enough to put you at the slightest bit of ease. Maybe tonight wouldn't go as horribly as you anticipated. Maybe you'd come to an understanding with your new mentors.