billie eilish mental health imagines

exhausted

these past few months billie's been extremely distant and i'm starting to get really worried about her.

it's not like her to just shut me out and go through shit alone, sure she has her moments but it's been months now.

"mom!" i called.

there was no reply so i headed downstairs to see if she was home yet.

"mom, are you home?" i called again.

but there was no answer so i pulled out my phone and sent her a message to let her know that i was going to billie's.

i threw on my shoes without grabbing anything else, knowing that everything i needed was at my second home.

but the whole of the walk to billie's, all i could think about was what state she would be and if i would even be able to get through to her.

it was always hit or miss when i turned up uninvited but it wasn't maggie who minded, it was billie.

if i told her that i was coming, it almost gave her the time to put a mask on and pretend that everything was okay.

but all i've ever wanted was for my friends to feel comfortable around me, not hide their feelings from me.

-

i found myself reaching the door to billie's house much sooner than i had planned.

using the key that i was given to open up the door before calling out to let everyone know that i wasn't a stranger.

"it's only me!" i called out.

after hearing a 'hi logan' from maggie, i made my way up the stairs to billie's room before knocking on the door.

although she didn't reply, i pushed the door open slowly to make sure that i didn't spook her.

"hey?" i spoke from the door.

i made sure to speak cautiously, unsure of the mood that she would be in but for some reason that only made her angry.

"what do you want?" she snapped.

my eyes stayed fixated on her small figure as i studied her body language closely.

"billie.." i began but i was cut off almost instantly.

she turned her head towards me, her eyes meeting mine as i stared into her practically lifeless soul.

i had never seen billie this depressed and it was clear that she hadn't been taking care of herself.

"i don't want you here." the demon inside her growled.

it was clear that it wasn't billie who was talking to me because her face had almost glossed over with no emotion.

the demon staring at me wasn't the billie that i knew, infact i almost didn't recognise her.

"i'm not leaving." i spoke firmly, shutting the door behind me.

she scoffed, turning away from me to return her never ending cold stare at the wall infront of her.

i found myself sitting down on her floor, getting ready to sit and wait for as long as she needed to open up.

"have i told you about what my mom did the other day?" i questioned, trying to start the conversation.

she didn't reply but i continued on with my conversation to see if she would join  in and also to keep her company.

"she went to the mall and as she was walking out someone ran up to her and asked her to marry them!" i laughed.

i heard a small noise from the other side of the room, holding on to the hope that it was a laugh, i decided to continue with the funny moments.