Yvette's Tales

18. I'm dying...

"She doesn't deserve this. She's a good person." Mabel mumbled softly and rubbed her red nose.

It had been an hour since the devastating news. Everyone had stopped crying. Mrs Chase had gone with the doctor to his office while they all waited in the lobby, grieving silently.

Yvette turned to look at Otto. He had been silent since the "No" he had whispered. Deadly silent.
She stared at the rosary in her hand then pocketed it. The marks on her palm were stinging but it was nothing compared to the numbness she was feeling.
"She's gonna get through this Yvette. She will." Otto spoke up...his voice was hoarse even If he hadn't yelled like they had.
Yvette clamped her lips together to prevent the sobs threatening to spill. Her best friend had finally found someone who cherished her so much but the world had decided to hate her.
"I'm...i'm so sorry Otto."She squeaked out. "You both don't deserve it. Jojo deserves to be happy. She's...she has been miserable enough."
"She had you Yvette,still has. You don't know what you've done for her in the space of 3 years Yvette."
"I was a horrible friend...i still get mad...mad at myself everytime for literally not sensing that my best friend was in pain..."
"Everyone is in pain. You had your shit going on so that battle raging in your head about blaming yourself for what's going on,stop it. Joalie said you're that kind of person who blames herself for other people's misery. She loves you...and...and i... fuck it...i love your best friend Yvette. Yes it's been only a week but...i love her. I love her and I'm not ready to let go of that love..."

Yvette smiled tenderly at how Otto had switched from consoling her to confessing his feelings. "We can only hope now."she said softly.

Hope...

The word 'hope' sounded too familiar again.

Hope from the past...

Hope that her father would actually pick them over his other family...

Hope that she would be noticed...

Hope that her PTSD wouldn't return...
That is...if it had really left.

°°°   °°°   °°°

It was the beeps from her alarm that woke her up.

She cracked her eyes open. They felt painful and stiff. She looked around. She was in her bedroom but how?

Using her hands to support her weight, she sat up and stared at the alarm clock. It read 5 am. She hit the snooze button and looked down at herself. She was still in the clothes from yesterday.

Yesterday?

Yesterday!

Right! Her mum had been called to come pick her up and once again,she had broken down in the car,crying like the world was finally coming to an end.

It was coming to an end for her...in the worst way possible.

With a resigned sigh, Yvette got out of bed and trudged to her wardrobe to pick an outfit for school. She flung it open and immediately burst into tears at the sight of all the Jean trousers Joalie had gotten her.
"She's not fucking dead asshole. Stop your miserable tears." She muttered softly to herself.
After picking her favourite Jersey and a pair of cargo pants, she walked into the bathroom and switched on the faucet to let the water fill her tub. She left it running and walked out of her room down to the kitchen.

The house was silent, meaning her mom and sister were still sound asleep. She crept into the kitchen and opened the fridge, reaching for the bags of ice in the freezer part.

She dumped them into her almost filled tub of water and stripped out of her clothes.

Closing her eyes, she stepped into the tub, sucking in a sharp breath before lowering herself into it.