When you call me by your name

Stay?-Oliver

Oliver's POV 

Once I'm sure Elio is asleep, I slowly get up from the bed and make my way towards the window. I sit on the small windowsill, my heart racing at the thought of hurting Elio once more.

The light that shines through the window lands on the young lad's face, highlighting his beauty as he sleeps. The rising and falling of his chest shows the calmness of his sleep, but here I am too scared to let myself sleep next to him or even breathe too heavy in case I hurt him. 
His body shaped like a porcupine doll and with any small touch could shatter and break. 
My phone begins buzzing from the bedside table, making Elio stir from his sleep.

Quickly I pick up the phone and look at the screen 'Wife calling...'
"Hello?" I say, quietly as not to wake the beauty in front of me.

"Why are you whispering Oliver baby?" My wife Jane says. 

"It's late here, anyway what's up?" I ask, trying to sound sweet.

"The children want to say goodnight," she says. I can hear little hands grabbing the phone and her giggling. I've never loved her or anything about her, but she was someone my father picked out, she doesn't even know about Elio and my love for him.

"Night daddy" the both say together, like they say every time I'm away. I love the kids, but they remind me too much of the lie I've lived for the last two years.

"Jane, I'm sorry, but I have to go, but I will call in the morning, we need to talk about something," I say, and then bid goodbyes before hanging up.

Then young lad stirs in his sleep before slowly opening his eyes. I hear small wheeps coming from it, I'm barely able to make him out from how dark the room is. "He left again" I hear him whisper.

"I'm here" I rush to the bed, picking him up and sitting him on my lap, so he's slightly laying like a baby. 

"You didn't leave?" He says.

"Of course not, I'm scared Elio. I'm scared I'm going to hurt you again. I can't." I say, my eyes begin to fill, but I quickly tilt my head back. Suddenly Elio straddles my hips, placing his hands on my face to pull my face down. He smashes his lips to mine and for the first time in a while I have felt complete.

"I love you Elio"
"I love you Oliver" 

I kiss my lover deeper, trying to show all of my love in one kiss. "I want to be with you" I whisper, so quietly I can barely hear it.

He leans over to my ears and whispers, "Stay?" 

"Forever" I smile at him, "I'll stay forever if you let me." He kisses me again.

"Of course," he says, "but you're married with kids." He pulls away, standing in front of me. "As long as you're married and have kids, I can never have you." He kisses my cheek before opening one of the doors leading to his room and walking out. 

I walk towards the younger ones door and slowly open it to see him standing at his window. I walk over to him. Wrapping my arms around his waist and kissing his neck. "You never lost me" I say. "I don't love Jane and as soon as I go home, I'm going to begin the divorce process and move closer to you." 

He turns around in my arms, his hair more poofy, I run my fingers through his curls. I allow myself to admire him and take in how lucky I am to be stood with him in my arms.

"Can we sleep?" He said with a yarn. I nod, kiss his head and head him back to the room before cuddling and falling asleep. 

~

I walk up to Elio trailed kisses from my hair, my cheek, my neck, my chest, my stomach, my hips and back all the way to my lips. I smirk against his lips, "Good morning", he says in his raspy morning voice.

"Good morning" I say, slowly opening my eyes, so they can adjust to the morning light"Whatat time is it?" 

"Just gone seven: fifteen", the younger boys say, "How did you sleep?" 

"Well, you?" I question, the strip of light lining his face, highlighting the colour of his eyes, the colour of his hair and every other feature of him. 

"Good. oh, by the way Jane called" he says, kissing my lips before walking towards the other room. 

I grabbed my phone and called Jane back, "Jane, what did you call for?" I ask.

"You said you wanted to talk" she said.

"Can you hold for a minute?" I ask and after hearing her hum I place the call on hold, place the phone down and walk towards where Elio is. 
"I need to talk to Jane in person about the divorce, am I okay to head home and once I've talked to her, I'll come straight back?" 

"Invite her here, just her. You could set her up in a hotel not to far from here and it means you can continue working with my Papa" he says. 

"Good idea" I smile at him and kiss him before heading back to my phone. "Jane, any chance you can come to Italy, we need to talk in person" I watch Elio lean against the door frame before he smirks and walks towards me. 

I shake my head, he lowers himself to the ground. He smirks up to me, running his hands up and down the sides of my legs making me smile. He stands up.

"Elio, no don't" his hand reaches towards the phone, and he snatches it out of my hand before I have time to react. "Elio, give me it back" I yell from far behind him.

He locks himself into a cupboard on the main floor and I can hear a small conversation going on between my lover and Jane. "Elio, give me my phone back." I said.

"Oliver, don't be a buzz kill, anyway Jane you should come to Italy. The place is gorgeous, you must come see all the work that your husband has been working on with my Papa. It's also time away from the kids. Right." I hear him say "Well I look forward to meeting you" I hear the beep signalling the call has ended. The door opens revealing Elio running his free hand through his hair and my phone in his other. "She'll be here in a few days." He says with a smile on his face before walking past me and towards the stairs. 

I smile and go lay on the bed. I hear Elio yell from outside. I stumble to my feet and head towards the window. I see Elio getting onto his bike with a friend of his, glancing up towards the window with a smile before they both begin to ride away. I watch how his curls flap in the wind, his shirt catching each second of the wind as he rides and I admire it. I grab my Sony Walkman and a sketch pad from my bag before taking a walk towards the river.

The sparking of the water, the sound of the water hitting the rocks, the wind flowing the grass and the light shining make everything feel so much calmer. I place my stuff onto the grass before going for a swim, allowing the water to flow over each part of my body, letting my muscles become weightless. 
Allowing my thoughts to seep away as the water flows under my head, the warm water slowly seeps through my body and relaxes me further. After a while of floating in the calm water, I decided to get out and draw in the grass. The memories of mine and Elio's first kiss together come flooding back, the guilt I feel towards Jane seeps in, but I quickly push it away, knowing in a few days it will be over for good. 
I began drawing Eliot from memory, the image of him from that day engraved into my head, the way his hair curled in all different directions, the way his eyes were brought out in the sun, how his outfit hugged his body and how perfect he looks. Each feature comes out better than expected, watching his lips, his eyes, each curl, each part of his body be drawn satisfies me. 

I place my headset on, playing the music that reminded me of the times spent with Elio, the life we could lead and the feelings he left inside me. But one song catches my attention, 
Sending tears to roll does my face, the memories of my life growing up come flooding back. The conversations my father used to make about being Gay, the things he would do to any of us who dared to admit our love for the same gender.
I relive the fear my farther left in me, I know soon he would pass, and I would sort of be free, I sit with ripped out pages in front of me. My emotions all over the place with every thought that I have, but I quickly gather all the pages, stuffing them into the book before quickly heading back to the Villa to see Elio.