Chapter 10

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Grace

After we left the restaurant I sat quietly outside for a little bit before we went back to the limo to clear my head. I had to talk to my sister and Dylan tomorrow and I also need to revise for the second round of the contest that is in two weeks. I have to get things in order again, I feel like everything is a mess even when it is not that bad. As I am drown in my thoughts I feel Astor coming closer to me from behind. He is so close that his hand touches mine for a brief second and the hair on my neck stand up.
For God’s shake Grace stop.
“What are you thinking?” He asks still standing achingly close behind me and observing the scenic view.
“I am trying to clear the things in my head and put them in an order.” I say exhaling a breath.
“What’s stressing you?”
“ My parents. They are always the source of my anxiety and that’s why I have become like that.” I say looking down at my scratched arm for a second. When my parents are not home I feel like I can breath, Like I am not suffocating all the time.
I would have left the house in a heartbeat if it wasn’t for Kelly.
I am staying for her. I try to be the help in order for her to breath until she turns eighteen but I seriously doubt that I could last two more years with them. I am afraid I will have to talk about this with Kelly soon.
“Like what?” He asks looking deep into my eyes.
I feel his breath on my face. He is so close. He scent hits me so hard that I feel like we are one body.
“A strict, soulless, clean obsessed bitch.”
Like my mother.
I don’t say that.  I almost smiling at my description because it fits me perfectly. I know that is not who I am, but I am almost positive that this is everyone’s perception of me. Do I really care?
No.
But it still does not fill me with warm feelings.
“Is that what you really believe about yourself?” He asks Like he already knows the answer.
“ No. But I wouldn’t mind  if other people didn’t see me only in that way.”
“People are idiots” He says like it’s a scientific fact. I can’t say I fully disagree. “Their opinions are useless and invalid most of the time.”
“ Does that include you too?” I ask arching my eyebrow a little.
“Never. I think you are charismatic and fascinating.” He says smiling a little looking deeply in my eyes.
His eyes are not betraying any emotion but desire is written all over his face. He comes even closer than before.
My heartbeat increases like I am being fucking electrocuted.
Stop beating that fast.
He puts a stand of hair behind my ear and his other hand touches my waist.
Oh my god.
“What are you doing?” I say deciding to ruin the moment.
“ I am Kissing you” He says very confident and brings his lips to mine.
Oh.My.God.
The kiss is forceful without a hint of sweetness. His lips are warm and hungry and his hand cups my neck bringing me even closer if that’s possible.My whole body reacts to this kiss, desire flooding me like never before. How can this biologically happen with just a kiss? My hand cups the side of his face and his hand tightens on my waist. He tastes like wine mixed with mint and I want to savour his taste and smell forever.
What am I saying for God’s shake?
He slowly breaks the kiss without moving his hands away and his mouth is near my ear.
“We have to go home” He says in my ear almost whispering and he kisses my cheek before taking his hands away and heading for the limo.
“Can you walk or do you need me to carry you?” He asks a cocky smile playing on his lips.
“Go to Hell.”  I say while walking to the limo.
Well my legs do feel a little unsteady.
“Will you be there?” He smiles more.
So beautiful.
I roll my eyes and get into the limo.
I have never realised how boring was Kissing before him.

After the limo parked outside my house I looked at Astor. I cannot handle a relationship right now. Not while I live with my parents, not with the pressure of college not with anything.
“Astor” I say exhaling a breath. “ Right now I cannot-
“ Grace. I kissed you because I want you. You don’t have to commit to anything right now. I can wait.”
I suck in a staggered breath looking at him with a frown.
“What?” I ask hating that my voice its shaky and wrong.
He takes my hand in his and rubs my knuckles gently with his thumb.
“For you, I will wait. You are exactly precisely and perfectly What I waited for.” He smiles, a soft smile.
I love that he talks with poetry.
“Astor you have known me for one week” I say
“ You should get your memory checked because I most surely know you 11 years.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask really confused by his statement.
“ You wound me. That chess match really stayed with me.”He smiles looking at me waiting to connect the dots.
Of course.
We used to see eachother when we were little. I have a foggy memory of us playing chess together while our parents were in a meeting probably with their lawyers.
“ How do you remember that, we were 7 years old back then” I say to him quite impressed .
“You always fascinated me.”
I try to suppress my smile.
“I have to get inside” I say trying to avoid the rest of the conversation.
“Call me if you need anything”
“I’ve been doing fine the last 18 years last time I checked I don’t need your assistance.”
He helped me one time that’s more than enough. It doesn’t mean that every time that I have to deal with something I will run to him for help.
“I’m aware” He says his eyes smiling.
I close the door of the limo and enter the house.
It’s perfectly clean. Everything is in place and it smells amazing.
Thank god.
I sent a message to Astor.
Thank you – Grace
Always- Astor

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