total drama dumbasses

the cast in trd | chapter sixty three

"Hey, why is my character called Ava?" Eva asked. "What the fuck? Could they not spell my name right? It's one letter. Just one letter." She started to get mad before Courtney informed that they had gotten a massive copyright strike and had to change all the names. 

"They did Sadie so dirty in this game," Duncan said with a chuckle. "She's so fucking blocky."

"I'm not that blocky in real life!" Sadie said with a whimper. She started sobbing into her headset, which made unsatisfying snobby noises. Katie interrupted to tell them, "Don't be mean to my best friend!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Gwen said and stifled a laugh. "Stacy slander is so funny."

The group proceeded to load into the game. It opened with Chris, or rather, Kyle, giving them an opening to how to play the game and everything. Immediately everyone began complaining about what character they got.

"I wish we could've just bought our own characters, thanks for the great suggestion Geoff, now I'm fucking Nolan," Noah said. "God, they made me look retarded!"

"At least you got your own character," Cody said. "I'm Travis, and his eyes aren't open. How am I supposed to see? This is weird. They made them look exactly like us."

"EW, WHY AM I SARA," Izzy said loudly and smashed her hands on the keyboard. "I HATE SIERRA, SHE MAKES ME FUCKING MAD."

"Calm down, Izzy, it's only for the game," Cody said and then Izzy calmed down a bit. Izzy knew everything without anyone telling her shit. It was unspoken between them all what happened during that period of time where Cody went missing. 

Geoff got Brianna and Bridgette got Jeff, and they were completely giggling over it. Duncan had gotten Stacy, which was the best form of karma anyone could have ever wished on someone, and Courtney was AJ. Beth got Libby and Tyler was Beth, but Libby got Courtlyn, and it was maybe the most confusing game they've ever played.

Justin got Alfonso and Alejandro got Heavely. Heather got Big-O and was cussing out everyone's families because of it. Harold got Zeeke and Ezekiel got Harry, so they did a swap. Noah got his own character and so did Leshawna. The teams, funny enough, were the Screaming Gophers and the Killer Bass. It was almost as if the game knew.

"Guys, first challenge! Listen up! Gosh!" Harold said.

"Spleef? What the hell is Spleef?" Tyler said, and missed the countdown. He fell first. Leshawna lasted the longest in that game, winning the Screaming Gophers a quick victory. She and Courtney were fighting each other for the longest time before Courtney finally fell. Tyler was voted off first, unfortunately, but he stayed to spectate.

"Everyone, if you get voted out, stay for jury!" Trent said.

"Or don't," Noah said. "It's not like we care."

Katie and Sadie started crying because they were on separate teams. Sadie was already blubbering when she realized her character was Justis and he wasn't as hot as real life Justin was. Katie was upset because she realized Stacy was actually just Duncan, and that Sadie was Dustin in the game. They fussed around so much that after two rounds they were both voted off. 

Round four was pancake eating. As usual, Owen ate that one up, quite literally, he tried eating the iPad, and Duncan also did very well because he was Stacy and 'very obese' in his own words. Then the Screaming Gophers won and Beth/Libby got voted off because she couldn't figure out how to click with the mouse. 

Round seven was an obby, and it was the colosseum one that nobody liked. Trent kept falling repeatedly and earned the Screaming Gophers a loss, which made Courtney scream triumphantly. Something else that was ironic was that each individual person on the computer was on their original team from season one. 

Dodgeball was round twelve, and Noah got voted off for that because he died first and their team lost. "What can I say," he said. "I've never been good at dodgeball."

"Yeah, I know," Heather said absentmindedly and continued to hop on trees. 

At round fifteen they made it to Merge, and everyone ganged up to eliminate Heather. She got so mad when she realized everyone had voted for her, but stayed for Jury.

Round 16 was where everyone started working for themselves. Eva was very experienced at obbies and she won almost every one of them, Gwen trailing behind. Izzy was the first to get voted off in Merge because she was at the end being offline (getting her DoorDash) while everyone did the obby.

Then there were comebacks (Harold paid 70@ for it and he didn't even win) and Duncan and his fat ass was back in the game. He kept on following Courtney around.

At round 17 Justin handed himself up as a sacrifice hoping people would feel bad but really they just voted for him and he got on the boat. Eva was voted out at round 18, and she put up a fight but eventually sat there with a dumb bell and sulked. 

Everyone started voting for randoms at round 19, Duncan was out first because he kept arguing with everyone. Owen was next. Then it was between Gwen and Courtney.

"I'm gonna make you wish you never even tried to win this," Courtney threatened and cracked her knuckles as she looked at the last obby. It had the massive fans and the stick that chased you as you hopped from circle to circle.

"Oh yeah?" Gwen returned. "Bring it."

"Come on you two, you can do it!" DJ said with a smile. He was holding Bunny and was watching intently as Chris/Kyle sounded the countdown.

"Woohoo," Noah said unenthusiastically. Cody had enough enthusiasm for the both of them as he cheered on Gwen and Courtney.

Gwen got blown off first which earned a smug smile from Courtney, but then Courtney got hit off by the stick at the last stage, and Gwen was ahead, but because she was paying so much attention to Courtney she got blown off at the end and had to walk back to the start, which led to Courtney winning.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Courtney cheered. "I may not have won a single million on the show, but winning this is just as good!" She grinned at Gwen. "Good job, Gwen!" Gwen returned the smile. "You too, Court."

"Right, I should've won," Heather said with an eyeroll. "So...tomorrow at the same time?"

Everyone agreed.

a/n

order of elimination
round 1 - tyler
round 2 - katie
round 3 - sadie
round 4 - beth
round 5 - cody
round 6 - duncan
round 7 - trent
round 8 - harold
round 9 - leshawna
round 10 - dj
round 11 - ezekiel
round 12 - noah
round 13 - geoff & bridgette (double elim)
round 14 - alejandro
round 15 - heather
round 16 - izzy
round 17 - justin
round 18 - eva
round 19 - duncan
round 20 - owen
tiebreaker - gwen
winner - courtney

lmk if i missed anyone

this chapter is a whole mess because i cannot keep track of who is still in the game and who isn't ahahha

anyways go read diary :)