Road of the Lonely Ones ✸ Paul Lahote

007. Deer Heart

"Charlie, please lock me up, I'm crazy and they're coming for me." She was suddenly in front of Charlie, grabbing his shirt and trying to grab the handcuffs from his belt. "Please, Charlie, please. I'm not safe to anyone." Paul couldn't comprehend any other feelings other than guilt. It was filling his lungs, crawling up his oesophagus and spilling off his tongue.

"Sas, it's okay. No one is coming for you." Was this his fault? Making her feel like no one could ever believe her?

Her head was switching between the two people. Paul's warmth behind her and Charlie's fatherly comfort in front. Though neither meant anything to her as the tears fell down her cheeks.

"Saskia, sweetheart, I'm not puttin' you in the station." Sheriff Swan grabbed her wrists and removed them from his shirt, putting his hands on her shoulders. "You need to rest."

"No, no I need to, you need to-" Saskia was all too suddenly crouched down, her hands over her ears and fingers digging into her temple. She was in pain, Paul could feel it. Her head was pounding and she was hot to the touch, too hot. More than a fever, like how he and the pack were. "It hurts, Paul, it hurts."

"Woah, woah okay, let's get you to the bed." He and Charlie shared a look of worry. The Lahote boy had grabbed onto her, one hand around her waist and the other holding the side of her head over the hand that was clutching her skull. Though she hissed as he touched her, flinching away from him and crashing into the corner of the hospital bed. She was hot, it was too hot. "Sas, it's okay."

"No, no it hurts so much." Saskia was sobbing now. Scratching at her neck and arms and legs and head. As if she was trying to get out of her own skin. Paul tried to reach for her arms, to get her to stop hurting herself, though he failed as she ripped herself away, stepping further away. He tried his best to ignore the hurt in his chest as she did so. And before he could even register, nurses were flooding in, grabbing her and restraining her to the bed. Ignoring her screams of pain and Paul's own shouts of protest. Security was ushering him out, though his superhuman strength stopped them as he stared at his imprint, tears dripping down her neck as she was unable to wipe them. He wished to help her, understand what was going on and wipe those aching tears from her face.

"Come on, son." Charlie had put a hand on his shoulder. "They know what they're doing."

"But-"

"Do me a favour and take her brothers home, their fathers a no-show." Paul finally gave in, his guilt coming back as he backed out of the room and looked at the Sanders brothers. Levi's hands were shaking as he stroked his younger brother's head while he slept on his lap. Saskia's blood-covered jacket was placed over Hugo, a sense of comfort from his sister's calming scent though is eyebrows were scrunched up as he slept, still in a state of worry. A heartbreaking scene to anyone around. Children looking after children.

♱

Billy Black was way too secretive for Paul's liking. He knew something. Something about Saskia. Something that he wasn't being told.

After dropping off the two boys back to their house, Pual went straight to Sam's, where he knew everyone would already be. Except the air was different, and not just because of their knowing of Saskia's current state. But there was something else.

Billy looked sorrowful. His hands on his chin as he looked deep in thought. The others were silently chatting around the table as Emily cooked them up something too eat. They all seemed to go quiet as Paul entered, his head low and Saskia's jacket in hand (the brothers had left it in his car and it was the most comfort he could get). Anger was prominent, they could all feel it as it whispered to them through the thick air of silence. Though guilt still remained along with the deep ache for his imprint.

"Don't mind me." His voice was harsh, Jared and Embry winced.

"Is she okay?" The alpha spoke, trying to get the boy to keep his cool. Hoping to by speaking about the girl.

"I don't know." It didn't work. Paul's heart was so heavy he felt as if he were about to keel over. He suddenly felt so top heavy with a painful sting of unknowing. Was she okay? It seemed a surprisingly difficult question. "She was burning up, almost like us, I-I've never seen anything like it."

"She will be okay." Billy Black had finally spoken up. It irked Paul in such a way. They all turned to face the older man in his wheelchair as he sat with a hand on his chin. Though Paul walked straight unfront of him, Jared having to place a hand on his arm in fear of the Lahote boy throwing himself at the man.

"What do you know?" A demand more than a question.

"You'll know when the time is right."

Paul groaned and slammed his fist on the table. "What the fuck does that even mean. Just tell me what's wrong with her."

"When the time is right. She needs to be aware first of what she is."

"What she is?" Embry's mumbled question seemed to go unnoticed as Paul's frustration was piling up.

"She's my imprint, I deserve to know!" His voice rose as he took a step closer. The worry for his girl was being overthrown by the pure irritation he felt. Did Billy have to be so fucking vague all the time?

"No, I need to talk more with the elders, they will be able to help her understand." Billy had already turned around and was wheeling himself towards the door. His tone seemed final. Nonetheless, the younger boy was having none of it as he followed him towards the door. His footsteps hard and angry.

"Understand what? Goddammit just tell me!" Sam grabbed his arm, a voice in his head from the alpha telling him to calm down and just leave it. But Paul was an angry boy, he didn't mean to be such a monster. It seemed uncontrollable, spilling out of him as his body started shaking. He just wanted to be held, to not have this burning rage in him all the time. The one that ruined relationships and broke glass. The one the punched holes into walls and doors and the one that seemed to drive away his imprint. God, what was wrong with him? Would he always be like this? He didn't want to be the angry one.

Being a giant wolf didn't help the situation, only escalated it. Whenever his anger became too much he would turn. As he was doing so now. Growling and ripping off his shirt as the warmth became too much. Sam as already pushing him out the door. His anger was getting the better of him. And it had got the better of Saskia. It made him pause, the thought of her. Soft compared to his sharp. He didn't want this anger to control his life. Drive away the people he loved or wanted to love.

"Get off me." He demanded in the calmest tone he could. Deep breaths through his nose as his chest heaved. "It's fine." He turned to where Sam had retreated next to Billy, seemingly having told everyone else to leave them. "I just want her to be okay." He finally revealed softly.

"And she will be." It felt like Billy had meant to add something else on the end. A 'For now'. or some sort of 'Until...'

But one harsh look from Sam told him he needed to trust Billy on this. Let someone else have the control. It was a tough pill to swallow. Yet, the lingering thought of Saskia slowed his heart and relaxed his uneven breaths as he shut his eyes. Anchored him back down and kept him human. Away from the angry wolf of a boy he had become.

AUTHORS NOTE

omd i have been busy as fuck.

Anyways my girl Saskia is gonna be okay. For now.

BUT FOR FURTHER NOTICE!!

The pack do not heal quick in this story. It is important for the plot i promise.

Also this should get more interesting from now on. Hope there are no mistakes!

lots of love xx