Writer's Anthology #1 - To Zenith And To You

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my confession to him.

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you're either clueless or you're ignoring it

though i think it's the second one since i know ure not stupid to not realize the obvious

I like you.

I like you so much that it hurts because I know I can't have you, and because you like someone else.

i thought ‘happy crush’ lang ‘to so i didnt mind it no’ng una. but fuck, the more i tried denying it, the more i was liking you more

it's hard to get rid of this. i know you know. i tried to, mukha namang walang nangyari.

months ago, when you left, i thought it would be a good time for me to.. i dont know, try and forget? but all i did was cry and i was always waiting. i was hoping makakausap kita. it just hurts.

i tell myself to ignore it. and honestly, i feel jealous, but then again wala naman akong karapatan

then theres school. thought i was okay, but no. i’d always remember u and i would end up walking out from class bcs i didnt want anyone to see me crying, and for a stupid reason

i dont know why i even hoped i had a slim chance. i just thought… baka sakali lang naman. but i’m guessing you're really not going to change your mind. i mean, why would you if you met your ideal girl.

it's just… buti pa sila, buti pa siya.

why do others get what i want and i dont.. i dont even receive what i deserve.

she'd be lucky to have you. and i’m jealous.

usually when i confess, it means closure. na ayoko nang maramdaman ‘yon or… well, ayoko na. ang sakit, e. i think i might've told u but, idk, di mo lang siguro pinapansin. so let me just tell you this for the last time. sana wala nang next time. maybe i’ll throw in a lil Cigarettes After Sex reference na rin.

I know I can't have you, but you're all I want. I like you. I like you so much.

im not expecting anything anymore. im done, im drained, im tired. tho im hoping i’d get to meet someone as good as you, tho walang makakapantay sa isang tulad mo.

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☾.
i finally told him everything. what and how i've been feeling ever since he left for U.S. he rejected me, of course; he was still into my friend. it still hurts me. and it happened on the third of december.