Game Over

Chapter 25

Suddenly, I felt very much aware that he was looking at me. May damit naman ako, pero parang gusto kong takpan iyong katawan ko dahil sa pagtingin niya sa akin. But then again, what for? Nakita niya naman na 'tong lahat.

"Are you seriously blaming me?" mabilis na sabi ko sa kanya para matabunan iyong kung anuman ang nasa isip ko nung tignan niya ako.

"Call me sexist or whatever, but I'd rather have that than—" sabi niya at mabilis na natigilan.

"Than what?" I asked nang hindi pa rin siya magpatuloy sa pagsasalita. "You keep on telling me to leave. I keep on telling you that I know what I'm doing. If you want me to listen to you, you have to tell me why. I'm not the same person who'd listen to you blindly," diretso kong sabi sa kanya.

Walang nagsasalita sa pagitan namin.

Naka-tingin lang kami sa isa't-isa.

"I... can't," he said after seconds that felt like forever.

"Okay, then," sagot ko tapos ay akmang tatalikod, pero hindi ko nagawa nang hawakan niya iyong braso ko. I stopped and stared right into his eyes. "Your hand. Please."

Hindi niya tinanggal iyong pagkaka-hawak niya sa akin.

"Just please listen to me."

"No."

"Tali—"

"I know what I'm doing—"

"You don't—"

"Fuck off, Lui."

Hindi pa rin niya tinanggal iyong pagkaka-hawak niya sa akin.

"Can't you just trust me on this one?"

Hindi ko alam kung ano iyong ekspresyon sa mukha ko nang marinig ko iyong mga salita na 'yon na lumabas sa bibig niya. Really... trust him? After everything? Did he really expect me to just blindly trust him?

"No," I told him.

"Tali—"

"If you want me to trust you, give me a reason to," sagot ko sa kanya. "I'm not a child, Lui. I can make decisions for myself."

"Tali, these people—"

"You are with them, Lui."

"You don't understand—"

"Then make me," mabilis na sagot ko sa kanya. "Explain to me with words. Hindi iyong bigla mo na lang akong hinahatak at sasabihan na umalis. You don't make any fucking sense."

Hindi pa rin lumuluwag iyong pagkakahawak niya sa braso ko. It was as if he didn't want to let me go. He nodded as he let out a deep breath.

"Fine, but promise me one thing first."

"No."

"Tali—"

"You don't get any favors from me, Lui."

Naka-tingin lang kami sa isa't-isa na para bang tinitignan namin kung sino ang unang susuko. I could stay here all night. I would not bow down against him kahit na alam ko na ngayon ay hinahanap na ako ni Lance.

"You don't love Lance," biglang sabi niya.

Agad na napa-kunot ang noo ko. "What the hell are you talking about?" tanong ko dahil sa pagka-lito sa sinabi niya.

"You don't love him. You won't have a problem dumping him," imbes ay sabi niya. Hindi ako makapagsalita. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang una kong mararamdaman... kung matatawa ba ako o maiinis dahil kung makapagsalita siya ay parang alam na alam niya kung ano ang nararamdaman ko.

"Wow..." sabi ko habang nakaawang ang mga labi ko. Kulang na lang ay pumalakpak ako sa harapan niya.

"You don't have feelings for him, Tali," he said. "I know how you look like when you have feelings for someone."

It was like there was a lump on my throat.

Hindi ako maka-sagot sa mga sinabi niya.

"Please don't associate yourself with Lance. He's bad news. This whole frat is bad news. I know I'm with them, but it's not because I still want to be here. I'm just... caught in the middle," sabi niya sa akin. Lumuwag iyong pagkaka-hawak niya sa braso ko hanggang sa tuluyan na siyang bumitaw. "Gusto kong sabihin lahat sa 'yo... but, Tali, believe me when I say that I just don't want you caught in the middle with me."

He was just looking at me... and probably waiting for me to just blindly agree with him... kahit wala naman talaga siyang sinabi sa akin para maniwala ako sa kanya...

"No."

I said that as I looked into his eyes. I knew what I was doing. I'd stay here in the party and then go home. I'd finish my contract and go work somewhere else. I would quietly leave my relationship with Lance and he would forget about me.

I knew what I was doing.

"If that's all—"

Both words and air escaped me when Lui closed the distance between us and suddenly, his lips were on mine. Agad na nanlaki iyong mga mata ko sa gulat. Bumilis iyong tibok ng puso ko at nanlamig iyong mga kamay ko.

I knew I should push him away.

Hindi 'to tama.

I am still in a relationship with Lance.

But I couldn't move.

All I could hear was the loud beating of my heart.

But I didn't need to push him when I was yanked away from him and suddenly, I could see Lance's eyes and the anger in them. 

**

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