Finding Koko

Karma

Cosmo was a very... stubborn and....spoiled child though still adorable.0

I had some troubles making him understand that we'll see his dada soon and that I'll take care of him till then, he did whatever he wanted and barely listened to me.

I wonder what kind of upbringing he had for him to be so... outspoken.

"Come on, Mama will see you after classes,  why don't you play with Aunt Minni till then" I said trying to pry off cosmo from my legs.

"Cosmo wants Mama!" He declared stubbornly.

"You'll like her once you meet her ok, she'll probably even give you cookies"

"....cookie?" Aha! So you like cookies little spawn of mine?

"Yes, she'll give you cookies" I said finally detaching him from me.

He looked deep.im thoughts, scrunching his cute little face in mock imitation of voldemort deep in thought.

Aww he's taking after his father.

His father......I felt my magic cackled and soul ACHE as Voldemort's face swam to mind.

I really REALLY hate the fact that he still went on  knocked up Bellatrix...I well I'm trying to understand and forgive him for that he was after all a man with many desires....BUT WHY THAT FUCKING BITCH! WHY COULDN'T IT BE SOMEONE ELSE! DAMN IT IVE NEVE FELT SO BAD AND BETRAYED IN ALL MY LIFE!

I took a deep breath to call my silent raging down as I escorted my child to McGonagall's quarters.

baby Cosmo was looking at me.....yes i have my baby, if Voldemort wants Bellatrix then he'll have to give up- oh no no no i almost went back into my vengeance mentality...hash girl call down he's a man, he's got needs, maybe Delphi was an accident.

Yes he'll never cheat on me like that,  it probably was all an accident, he loves...he loves me right?

I slumped down in my living room which I had unconsciously walked into after giving Cosmo to Mcgonagall.

"Maybe his love for me disappeared over time...but then again why would he try finding me so desperately if that was the case?" I felt years rool down my face, I laid my head atop my knees to stifle my sobs.

"I'm just being stupid, he must still love me that's why he's trying to find me, Delphi must be and accident all of this MUST be and misunderstanding....I just have to talk to him, once I meet him he'll tell me how much i mean to him, how much he missed me" my voice choked "he'll tell me- tell me how much he LOVES me..." 

I stood up abruptly, I have classes to get to and things to do, I can't do that in this mental state. I easily found my stack in the topmost shelf of the cooling cupboard.

I don't usually do this, in fact I only drink before sleeping or special occasion but right now..right now I need to numb myself..I promised Cosmo he'll see his father soon, i NEED to make that promise come true and sweeping over my wounds won't do that.

The beverage burned my throat, the nasty taste of the low grade alcohol clung to my tongue and throat.

I felt it reaching my brain, the sudden ingestion over an empty stomach was quiet hard on this body.

I sighed slamming the half empty bottle down, cracks streamed and riveted over the surface.

I'll send Cosmo back safe and sound and I have to take down that bastard. Focus.

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