𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐘𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐫 | 𝐃𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Chapter 38 - Confusing Thoughts of Love

The sun was nearly set, its bottom half neatly tucked behind the buildings and fields of Tulsa, while some glittering light still danced through the bases of trees. Crippled brown leaves that were once bright, now line the roads and sidewalks of the small town as a certain peacefulness creeps up on us.

Our shoes all clapped against the concrete walkway as we smiled, galavanting next to one another in a line. I grinned and laughed as I tried to keep my strides in unison with Sodas, him beaming as he watched me with delight.

We hadn't left the DX to long ago and the excitement and happiness we still all held filled the air, bringing a small amount of life into the dull area.

I glanced to Dallas every once and awhile, who stood on the other end of the line with his head hung low. Even in the low light of the evening, the boy still looked irresistible, perhaps even more than ever. The orange light that came from the burning end of his cigarette flowed over his features perfectly, and his disorderly mop of hair fell over his forehead gracefully.

I was torn between him and William Buckley. They were both distinctly different from one another, but were both so similar in the way they were enticing, charming, witty, attractive, and full of themselves. Both made heat race through my body and my heart beat out of my chest, their words and actions causing me to be vulnerable and weak in their presence.

I had loved Dallas for the longest time, never letting him escape from my thoughts. He was a parasite, something that was always urging to come back, finding any loophole to take over my mind and make it back into my life. And no matter how much I despised it, I still loved him, so much so that he was still constant in my head as I kissed William. I longed to make him jealous, and that fact was undeniable.

On the other end, there's William, who was kind, intriguing, and could make me melt in a sheer second. I had only know him for a short while and was already pulled into his trap. He quickly dragged me into a sea of entrancement with his grip, drawing me in like a hopeless and desperate little girl. Like many other men of his kind, he swept me off my feet and caused me to falter. At the moment, he was a mere crush, unlike Dallas who was in my life from the start.

Now, thoughts of both of them swarmed my brain, my mind wandering in both of their directions. However, I knew I only had a chance with William, so I took it swiftly in a desperate attempt to not only be with someone, but to also cause envy to bubble up within the heart of Dallas Winston.

~

I mumbled a song through my burning cigarette as I sat alone on the porch, slumped over and watching smoke escape rapidly from the end of my blunt as it disappeared into the frosty night air. I admired the darkness and the few stars that shined brightly on the horizon, a feeling of wonder washing over me like a wave.

Hearing the faint cry of train horn and the vague noise of a dog howling filled me with peace, and I closed my eyes gently as I only focused on that. It was the small things in life that made me hopeful for a better one, but it never came. So I continue to be as optimistic as I can, but still doubt that wishful thinking.

My attention was promptly pulled away, however, when the door behind me gently opened, revealing a weary Dallas who stood distraught in the frame. I looked to him with light smile, following him with my eyes while he walked to my side.

"To much Mickey Mouse, huh?" I jested with a chuckle as he stopped next to me, slowly sitting down with the crack of his knees. "What's up?" I questioned softly, genuinely curious as my smile faded slightly. "Nothin'. Just uhh... tired." He dug in his pocket, hastily pulling out a pack of Kools and a box of matches. He lit the match on his necklace, took a cigarette in his lips, and lit it quickly. I nodded as I watched his every move, admiring him gladly.

He sighed as he stuffed the two boxes back in his pocket, finally taking a drag from his blunt, satisfaction immediately wiping the worry from his face. He stayed silent, looking to the night sky with a clenched jaw, his eyes glazed over with thought. I stared at him with curiosity, studying his expression with wonder as I continued to take drags from my cigarette. 

As we continued to sit peacefully, smoking in complete stillness, I felt a tension in the air. I could tell something was bothering Dallas, and from today's previous experiences and what I assumed he despised, it made me bubble up with giddy.