The things I can't have - Taylor and Travis (AU)

3.

Her eyes go wide "what do you mean he's out of your league?!" Her tone is shocked "girl do you have any idea how gorgeous you are?" She waved her hand at me "also we've been talking for like two hours and I can already tell you're so cool and fun. If he doesn't want you it's his loss". I feel the hit on my cheeks and just know how blushed my cheeks are right now.
"Thank you for saying that you really didn't have to" I mumble.

"I know but it's true"

"It's just that except for being my brother's best friend which is mostly why I can't have him. He's also so cute and one of the guys girls just fall for. And he doesn't look at me that way so I know it won't happen" I smile when I talk about him and that just makes me feel even more pathetic.

"Well we're gonna go out tonight and we'll get drunk and you'll forget all about him" she announces with a bright smile "one of the girls on our floor said we should come to this party, it's gonna be huge and we'll get the full collage experience" I laugh.

"I've never got drunk before" I confess.
"There's a first time for everything" she says and I guess she's right.

At about 10pm we get to the party and there are so many people there but we link our arms and go in, immediately some guy places two beer cups in our hands. For a second I don't know if I should drink it but Hailey does so I do to.

Through the night she keeps getting us drinks and since we are our dinner super early I feel the alcohol almost immediately. At midnight we're already drunk and dance wildly on the deck outside with everyone.

Hayley goes to get us another drink and I keep dancing. Suddenly I feel two strange hands gripping my waist and I turn around to see a guy I don't know. "Get away from me" I try to shove his chest but he comes right back.

"Come on, no one move their hips like that if they don't want attention from men" his breath smells like alcohol and now I'm a little scared, that's why I don't go to parties and get drunk.

"Leave me alone" I try to push him again and again he won't budge.

Just then someone yanks him away from me "she said leave her alone!" I hear a familiar voice and see Travis holding the guy by the collar of his shirt.
They exchanged a few hissed remarks until Travis pushes him away and turns to me. He stands so close I feel the warmth of his body radiating to me. His hands are on my upper arms and the touch combined with the alcohol makes it really hard for me to stay focused.

"Taylor are you okay?" I hear him speak but I only stare his pink perfect lips. Imagining how they'd feel against mine.
Then his hands cup my face and he moves my head to look at him "hey, talk to me" he says more softly this time and I finally reply "I think I'm fine" he lets out a breath.

"I wanna go" I say.

"Come on I'll get you home before Austin will see you drunk like that" I nod getting a little nervous when I realize Austin is also somewhere at the party. He moves his hands from my cheeks and suddenly I'm a little cold.

I turn to see Hailey staring at us "that's Hailey my roommate, Hailey that's Travis" I wink at her and we both start to laugh "we should take her with us".

"Don't worry we're all going back to your dorms" he says and escorts me and my new friend out to his car.

Travis
Taylor's friend looks very tired and gets into my car immediately, Taylor on the other hand is busy singing and poking my chest and arm every time the song has the word 'you' in it.

I won't lie and say I'm not enjoying this little performance, she has an angelic voice.

"Tay get in the car" I open the door for her but she shakes her head and continues "I was eight and you were nine I looked at you like the stars that shine" she sings and I can't recognize the song, could it be something of her own?

"Yeah yeah now let's get going" I finally make her sit in the passenger side and buckle her up when I see she makes no move to do so herself.

I drive her to the freshman's dorms and walk with her after Hailey to their room. She got quiet on the drive and now she's very clingy, holding my arm. But I don't mind I like that she's close.

"That's here" her roommate says and opened the door. She immediately crushes into her bed. Taylor sits down on the edge of her own bed, I stand in front of her and she looks up at me.

"Why did you drink so much? You never got drunk before" I ask quietly, I don't speak in this tone with anyone else.
She shrugs her shoulders "I tried to forget all about you".

I'm confused. My eyebrows are shrieked as I give her a questioning look "what do you mean?"

"I'm in collage now" she explains "it's time to accept the truth and get over you".
Get over me? What?
"What.. when.." I can't put together a full sentence "are you um.. under me?" Fuck that was like the worst phrase I could use but it makes her giggle.

Her drunken giggle is absolutely adorable and I can't help but smile a little at her "it's like what Ross said in friends when he realized Rachel wanted him back".

"Anyways I tried to forget you but instead I came up with a song about you" she looks around and reach to the notebook and the pen on her desk.

I watch her for a few minutes while she scrambles words onto the paper.
So the song from earlier was her own. And it was about me.

Did her mother say the truth? She likes me?

"Wait Taylor" I sit down on the bed beside her "do you really have feelings for me?" I can't believe it. It doesn't make sense, she had a boyfriend, she's also way too good for me, there's no way.

"It doesn't matter"

"Yes it does" I cup her face and turn her face to look at me.
We look at each other for a long moment until my eyes drift down to her lips and I lean closer, pressing my lips softly on hers.

I've been waiting for this moment for so long, I can't believe this is actually happening. I'm kissing Taylor.

The kiss doesn't last long before I pull away, realizing I got carried away and knowing she's drunk. I can't do this, I can't love my best friend's sister, I can't be kissing her while she's drunk and also while she's sober. I just can't. I can't have her.

"You should go to sleep" I whisper and she nods. After helping her out of her shoes I move the cover of the bed and tuck her in when she gets under it.

"Stay with me, I don't wanna be alone" she whispers turning on her side.
"You sure?" Her head moves up and down. I know she probably won't remember any of that in the morning so I'll just wait until she falls asleep and tomorrow it'll be like nothing had happened.

Except that now I know she also has feelings for me. But she can't know about my feelings so I just hope she won't remember this ever happened.

I lie on the covers next to her propping myself on my hand. I find myself reaching for her blond curls, twisting them around my fingers until her breathing evens and I'm sure she's sleeping.

It's hard, knowing I'll never get to be this close to her again. But I know I have to so i I I tear myself from her bed and get up. I look at her sleeping body one last time before leaving, closing the door quietly behind me.

As much as I wish I could. Taylor is the one girl I can't have.