The Cult of Devin

02

Sitting over the journal in the dimming fall light, Euan slowly wrote, thinking about each word carefully.

Cody has been dead for seven days now. One full week. We had a funeral for him the day after his murder. I told the cult that without him, we should just break apart. But they didn't listen. They insisted that I led them. I know I will never be as good as a leader when comparing myself to Cody. It would be better if I just disappeared. Maybe then the cult would fall apart. With Em gone, Cody gone, and me gone, they may finally give up. I know I would want to give up.

Cody is the one that bought me this journal. He said journaling could help with my mental shit. I don't know what to think about that. If anything, it's only reminding me of how shitty I feel. Cody always wanted the best for me. Especially when it came to mental health. He felt that it was extremely important to “fix” what I have going on. He was always a problem solver. He wanted everything to be perfect. He would always help me so much. The worst part is that I think he KNEW he was going to die. Thinking back on some of the stuff he said- saying shit like “when I die..” when he was perfectly healthy- it's ridiculous. Why would he think like that if he thought he was going to live a long time? He should of lived for a long time. He didn't deserve to die. His death is wrong. it doesn't make sense to me? How can someone who worked so hard for redemption fall to someone who is nothing but evil? I can only hope that he is at least up in heaven now. He deserves to be an angel.

Back to the priorities. I need to find out what I want to do here. I need to abandon the cult. Hopefully they will fall apart after I leave. Next, I need to settle down. Get a safe place to live for a while. Then, I need to find Emmit. I hate to write this, but Emmit is too dangerous to live. He's a monster. He's a killer. I won't allow him to hurt more people. He posted a video the other day, I watched it. I think I know his location. There were a few marks on the cardboard behind him. And the creature he was talking to? I doubt it's human. It could be demon, angel (unlikely), or even a reaper. If it's a reaper, I'm fucked. Angel? Hopefully it has a good moral compass I can sway- demon? I can only hope it's smart enough to realize Emmit isn't going to be a good business partner.

In the meantime, I'm just going to do stuff Cody told me to do. Take deep breaths. Relax. Enjoy a cup of tea while I get my work done. Maybe play some video games to give me something new to do. Then I can be done. Be done with the cult. It's all so overwhelming. Feeling like I constantly have to help keep the cult afloat. I'm not a leader. I'm just a person in the background. I can finally be done. I can finally rest.

Euan slowly stopped writing and let out a breath as he looked down at the paper. He closed the journal and stood. He had work to do.