Broken, Flawed & Living (Discontinued)

Chapter Eighteen

"The one assignment in Social and another in Cognitive," I answered, focused on the task at hand. "Have you started your assignments?"

"Halfway through." He retired back in the same position, letting a silence go in between. A prolonged one at that, and I heard him shift a couple of times in bed. "When are you even free?" He finally asked. The dreadful question of when our first date come.

Yeah, we still haven't gone on one.

"I don't know," I replied. "I have a lot of my plate like this. Then Tori's movie and the drama play and Christian's psychiatric tests."

He sighed. "Then come to bed and forget all of that for tonight. You can finish your papers tomorrow morning, the weekend. You're not filming with Tori till Sunday and isn't Christian's tests sometime next week Saturday?"

"I just want these papers done and over with."

"This is probably the only time we'd this sort of privacy. C'mon."

"Chance, I can't. I want these done and over with."

"So you're going to be a bitch about it, huh?" And that one word triggered me and my eyes snapped at him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." Sure his eyes showed regret of his words, how he carried his voice through the apology.

But... "Just go back to your room. I can't afford distractions right now." I couldn't finish my papers with Chance hogging my time, especially if he took out his stress on me like that. He needed rest on his own and away from everyone. A sleep to calm his nerves and patience and anger and everything else eating away at his mind.

He groaned, a soft one. "Okay. Fine." He eased himself off my bed and took his leave out the door, not slamming it close. Yes, I felt bad demanding he leave but I hated how he called me a bitch when I wasn't. Hated how much he took things out on everyone else. Now I truly thought us wasn't such a good idea, and maybe Tori was right; College wasn't suitable for him just yet. She was fed up, he aggravated Levy and Chris was done with him.

It didn't help how his stress pooled from his nose, a dark, clotted red some times. Made me wonder if depression played a part in all this still? If he took up on someone else's actions and words and mannerisms, because that too I noted and chose to disregard as nothing. He seemed less likely of the man I crushed on, knew throughout the days since we reunited. And more like someone else.

I questioned whether I should've broke it off or not, and you know why I haven't?

Like my mother had said, "Relationships aren't ideal in the least. They won't be pitch perfect, they won't be free from flaws and yes, it is okay for you and your partner to get angry at each other. But the one thing you mustn't do is leave knowing full well you still care for them, that they aren't well, or all because of an argument which doesn't call for a separation. There is room to grow and you'll know when it's time to break things off, if things don't get better. In this world, its worse to quite while you're ahead instead of try and succeed. Because only then you'll know whether it was time to give in, for your sake and theirs, or whether to live on fighting, a chance that things will change for the better. Do you understand this, Thomas?"

So the way I view our relationship now? If I left all because he was stressed out wouldn't be right. There were things that could've changed between us, ways I could calm him down; how we all could. It wasn't like he actually meant to do so, seeing as how he regretted it straight after. It was just how worn he was, how stress changed him, how depression aided it. There was something I had to do about it, to help him.

Right?

Before allowing my keyboard to ache my fingers again, the strain this one paper in Social gave me, I turned towards the door beginning to open. Slowly, it widened and in came the shock of my life – one of many. One of many... Leone. Our eyes connected, my mind wondering when the last that was. Oh, right, when we were at the beach, how Chance and I's date didn't go as planned. Henrick's a big place, and his program took place from the other side of the building so there wasn't a chance we'd run into each other. Not like how if we were in high school.