7:51

10.

I'll Always Be Around – Waterparks

Every time Noah made my heart skip a beat, I persisted in my attempts to convince myself it was nothing. The night after we watched Love Actually, I told myself it was just because we were watching a romantic Christmas film. When we exchanged presents on Christmas Eve before his parents came round the next day, and he looked at me with eyes warmer than a hot summer's day with a clear blue sky, I said we were just excited about sharing our gifts. On Christmas Day, he introduced me to his parents and they remembered me as 'the pretty one he got to dance with', and I swear it took the equivalent energy of nuclear fusion to calm myself down and realise that was what his mum thought, not him.

But after we kissed and shared a bed on New Year's, there was not a chance I could deny what I was feeling.

Ok, slight exaggeration – it was only a kiss on the cheek. Which, honestly, was a relief. I wouldn't have survived anything more than that.

We had invited a few friends round for a small get together and they were all couples. There was going to be kissing, and that left me at a loss about Noah and myself, causing me to fret all day. Were we going to sit at a distance doing nothing, however awkward it may be? Were we going to opt for a quick peck, just out of tradition? Or were we going to kiss, fall in love and live happily ever after?

So maybe I was getting a little carried away, but my rational thinking approach hadn't been all that successful and I was out of options. The whole evening I was so nervous, I must have drunk a swimming pool of water and ended up needing the toilet what felt like every two minutes. Eventually, James pulled me aside to check in.

"Beth, is everything okay?" he asked. "Promise you'd tell me if you've got a hidden stash of alcohol in that bathroom. Or did you forget to pee after sex-"

"No!" I quickly hushed him, risking a glance at Noah in case he had heard. Luckily it didn't seem like he had, but James noticed my nervous look.

"Is it Noah? Is he the one with alcohol stashed in there?"

"No, nobody has alcohol hidden in there, I'm just...nervous," I explained.

"For what?"

"Midnight," I mumbled and couldn't help my eyes wandering towards Noah again.

"Seriously, what is up? Why are you nervous and why do you keep looking at Noah?"

"Because I like him," I admitted, not only aloud but finally to myself for the first time. I had been kidding myself until now to try and persuade myself of any other truth.

"Holy guacamole," James gasped.

"Yep," I sighed.

"What are you going to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you going to tell him?"

"No! No way," I replied immediately and then paused. "At least...not yet. I don't know. I mean, I might be over him within a month, right? There's no point risking making things awkward between us for nothing. He's my best friend, I can't lose him. Not after..."

James gave me a sad look as I trailed off, not needing to say Chloe's name out loud. I had to tell him what had happened when he asked why she wasn't here tonight.

"You won't lose him. You two...you've only known each other a few months and I already can't imagine you apart," he said. "But if you don't want to tell him then I understand. Just let me know if you do hook up with him."

"James!" I exclaimed, failing to be annoyed as I laughed. Noah appeared by my side then, wondering what was going on. "Oh, just James and another one of his inappropriate jokes."