This is a story where Beomgyu is living y/n's student life... in other words it's a love story I made up from 5 pause games and some answers from Yggdrasil on discord, because I am sick and bored.
After a few more drinks and admitting in front of Yeonjun that not only do I still like Taehyun, but I'm also madly in love with Kai, I was sure I won't be able to look in the mirror anymore. I already knew that none of them would ever give up on me... and the worst part was that I didn't even want them to do so or to be hurt.
It felt so right to finally speak openly with Yeonjun, his unexpected understanding was so warm... and it felt so good to be kissed like I did nothing wrong...
... but of course the poison of reality soon coursed through my veins and went straight to my heart. It ached.
Certainly, it is wrong.None of them deserve this... and I don't deserve any of them. What have I done?
I left my predestined mate as soon as he fell asleep, feeling unworthy to even breathe the same air as his kind soul.
The places I let Yeonjun touch on me still burned even though the lonely night on the bench was so cool. I was shaking with fatigue and mixed feelings. It was like my own tailor-made punishment. That's what I deserve.
The more my heart and thoughts tortured me, the more unreal it all seemed. Will I finally wake up? Does this night have an end?
I raised my hand to wipe away my tears, as a sudden warmth enveloped my back.
Taehyun's fingers wrapped around his sweatshirt covered forearms on my chest... he serenely snuggled to my shoulder.
"You'll catch a cold..."
"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be sleeping?" I asked him, trying to hold my breath to avoid the sadness in my throat.
"I could ask the same thing... but I'm not dumb, I see you cry," the childhood friend whispered in a sleepy voice.
So I must be the stupid one... I actually couldn't disagree.
"I obviously came to comfort you," he added to make it clear.
"Except, you can't... comfort me."
"Sure...," Tae remarked sarcastically and put his hand above my heart, "I can feel your body calming down, you won't fool me..."
"That's because you don't know why I'm like this," came out of me more irritated. If he knew about me and Yeonjun-
However, my friend was not deterred and hugged me a little tighter. "I don't need to know if you don't want to talk about it... It's enough for me to know that my presence soothes you."
Why is he always so attentive to me? It was making me want to tell him all my ugly secrets... but how could I? Just why...
"Why... why do you still like me, Tyun?" It would be better to hate me.
The lengthening silence whispered to me that he was probably hesitating whether he should really answer truthfully and honestly.
"You mean... why do I still love you even after you realized you fell for Kai... and started to pretend that your special feelings for me disappeared?... Sometimes, I also wonder why."
I felt my blood freeze in my veins, but forced my body to turn, so I could face him. I thought I had already given all my tears to the stars today...
"I know every page of you... I have studied this book for years," continued Taehyun looking straight into my eyes.
He knew it... he knows about my struggle and yet he continues to try to win me over as if nothing happened.
"But you're obviously still unskilled in talking to me. Maybe that's why I fell for Kai... How long do you know about that?" I asked losing my voice and didn't even bother to wipe my tears anymore. In the end, I didn't talk to him about it either...
No answer, just a look stuck in my face that made me nod with a soft desperate chuckle. So for a long time...
"I won't give up on you, Beomgyu."
"Well, that's exactly the problem."
"Is that why you're crying?" Tae asked me softly, but the tension threw me off the bench. "Because you can't choose...?" He straightened up.
I bit my lip, came closer to Tyun and tried to look him in the eye, getting ready to say the most painful thing I've ever said. I never wanted to hurt anyone... but now I had to stab not just one... but three people, including me... because I couldn't take the action back. Why can't I love like others do?
"No... no," I gulped and looked away, unable to look at him, "it's because the problem practically solved itself. If it hasn't happened by now, you can start hating me from now on... and I can actually forget about loving you both because Kai will surely hate me too..."
My Kai... The heartache closed my eyes and squeezed out the tears.
What do you mean?
"I cried because I- I accepted my soulmate bond... with Yeonjun. It was too strong... I couldn't see him cry and suffer any longer..."
"... and spent this night with him."
Taehyun's eyes glistened, as the wailing stars fell into them. What?
"So that's it," I sobbed and wiped my tears on my forearm, "first, I suppressed my feelings for you, so I could at least cuddle with Kai... and now I became a slut."
His lips remained speechless.
"I don't think you'll even want to be friends with me after this and there is no excuse to make it all right, so... I should just leave and... allow you to let me go..."
"... these words have no weight, but I'm sorry... just hate me or let me go," I quickly mumbled the last words, then ran away back to the cottage.
Before the quick steps on the wooden floor could reach me with my troubles, I carefully closed the door of Yeonjun's room, slid them down to the floor and hold my fast breath to not wake him up.
"Beomgyu please. Open the damn door... please. You must be only confused and drunk, you can't really mean it... I know you love us. Let's talk about it, c'mon."
+x+
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First of all, I am sorry for changing the 3. pov into 1., lol... maybe you didn't notice, even I noticed it after writing half of the chapter, so I let it be, ehem. I won't comment it much. Anywayyy...
Discord's bot choice: Yeonjun3x... (I think it is biased, wth)
Your previous votes were for: TaeGyuKai 2x and Yeonjun 2x <3
Will your candidate change today? Or do you want to get rid of Beomgyu now? Ehem...
