scares

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i'm fucked.

"natalie can you come here please?" i nervously scream. i rewrap myself in my towel to make it tighter. i stare at my tampon box in horror. "what? what happened?" natalie bursts in my bathroom. she looks at the box and at me. "did you run out? i think i have some in my bag." she says and i shake my head. "this is a new box."

she looks at me confused. "i bought this box last month when i ended my last period." i explain. as she starts to get on the same page as me she gasps. "that was the first of last month. i remember because we started on the same day and we were crying during lunch." natalie takes the box out of my hand.

"natalie... it's november. november the seventeenth!" i panic. "oh shit! look at your app! when are you supposed to start?" she also panics. i grab my phone off the counter and i go to my period app. i scream when i see the gray bubble. she also screams. "what? why are we screaming?" she screams more. "i'm almost weeks late."

i point the phone towards her. "fuck!" she covers her mouth. "do you think you're pr-" i shush her. "do not say that word. i am not pregnant!" i pace around the bathroom. "you just said it."

i shush her again. "bri, is there a possibility that you could be... pregnant?" nat whispers the last part. "i mean yeah...parker and i have sex all the time." i gasp. parker.

as if on cue, the doorbell rings. "fuck! that's him!" i get up. "why is he here?" she asks. i don't answer, i look away. it rings again. "i told him to come over so we could eat pizza, possibly have sex, then watch movies." i say ashamed.

"oh my god." nat throws the box on my counter. "hey! don't act all virgin mary with me nat, i know for a fact that you and my brother have sex!" i point at her. then gag at the thought. "shut up. this isn't about me, this is about your period being almost two weeks late." she freaks me out again. "okay i need to answer the door. come with me!" i drag her out of the bathroom and out of my room.

we go downstairs and i get ready to open the door. natalie moves to the side. i open it and when i see him i get all gooey. "i hope i'm not late." he comes in. "you're right on time." i let him in. he looks me up and down and smirks. "you look beautiful like always." parker leans in for a kiss.

"ew." natalie clears her throat. "did you literally forget i'm right here?" she says with her arms crossed. "hey nat." he waves. "i don't like you." she says making my mouth drop.

"i'll meet you upstairs in a minute. there's pizza in my room." i tell parker. "don't keep me waiting too long." parker kisses my cheek before going upstairs. oh i definitely won't. "bye nat." he waves. "don't talk to me." she says bluntly. i watch him turn quickly to go upstairs and when he's out of view, i look back at nat. "stop being mean!" i say. "never." she crosses her arms.

"anyways, now what?" i get nervous all over again. "when's the last time you and parker had sex?" she whispers. i think about this. "do multiple rounds count?" i ask and she frowns. "okay okay, the last time we had sex was last week. i'm pretty sure."

this timeline was too much for me right now. "okay but we use protection every time! i know it's not a hundred percent but it's something! plus i haven't thrown up or been sick or anything like that!" i feel relieved in a way. "i say you should take a test or wait it out for a few more days." she suggests. i nod. "okay, i'll do that."

"are you going to tell him?" nat looks at me in a way that makes me sad. i think i really fucked up. "i-i don't know. not until i know for sure." the thought scares me. "this pizza is really good." parker is back in view upstairs. i watch him eat his pizza all cute and innocent-like. he goes back into my room. "parker can't be a dad. i can't be a mom! i'm a senior in high school! i haven't even graduated yet or traveled the world. we haven't even went on our girls trip to spain yet!" i panic.

"seriously snap out of it! we don't know for sure! just calm down. forget about it tonight, it's tomorrows problem. now go cuddle with parker and try to control your horniness and only cuddle!" she calms me down. i nod.

"i love you nat." i hug her as tight as i could."i love you more bri."

after a long hug, she goes back to my brothers room. i hesitate to go back to mine. "finally." parker says when i appear in the doorway. my whole mood is killed. i just want to go to sleep and hope this is one big nightmare. i fake laugh and i get on my bed next to him. he's watching bates motel.

a show he barely started watching thanks to me. "are you okay?" he pauses when he sees my face. his pizza mid-air. "i'm okay. i just want to eat pizza and cuddle with you." i say. parker squints and puts his pizza on top of the box. "is it that time of the month?" he asks. i wish.

"no it isn't you asshole." i roll my eyes and he instantly holds me and kisses me all over my face. "parker! if i break out from your greasy kisses i will fight you." my words are coming out harsher than i intended them to.

"okay you know what? you need to relax." he moves the pizza box and climbs on top of me. "oh i need to relax?" my brown eyes challenge his. "yeah you do." parker kisses me then kisses my neck. i'm alert and wide awake now. no! we can't have sex until i take a test.

"we shouldn't do this tonight." i panic. "we shouldn't?" parker takes my shirt off and plants kisses slowly from my chest to my stomach. i'm silent now feeling everything and it drives me crazy. skin on skin contact with parker should be illegal.

he awakens a different part of me everytime we're together. especially when he's looking up at me with those devious eyes, tugging at my pajamas shorts.

fuck.

"fine but after, we're talking about birth control."

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