Like The Water Loves The Air (Chuuya x Reader)

Chapter Seven

If Y/n was something rotten, half human and feral in her lifelong anger, her lifelong, inexplicable grief, then Chuuya was human and a half. He was overflowing, abundant, wild. 

Y/n hadn't meant for this to happen. It had been unfettered bravery and utter stupidity that had caused her to leave him that note on the piece she wrote for him, the one about the artist and the rock. She hadn't meant for it to progress this far and yet... she reveled in it.

There was the sneaking guilt, the feeling she was taking something that rightly belonged to someone else. The time was treasured. For once, she didn't care if she deserved it or not because she wanted it.

It was the way his eyes flashed through with something hidden when he looked at her. It was the blatant disrespect, the honesty. It was the fact that he was so human, intently human, double human, and she was lacking in that department. 

The edges of her mind had begun to darken again, blurring the features of the world together. She started talking more walks again, spending more time in the fresh air. It was routine by now.

It was hard to make her new cures seem as satisfying to her hungry mind after slipping into her old ones so easily a few weeks before but, Y/n was nothing if not persistent. She pretended the lighter in her drawer did not exist. She pretended she had never learned of cigarettes or the satisfaction of self destruction. She took deep breaths, she listened to the birds.

"You're different again." Chuuya noted as she silently slid his drink to him across the counter.

He had long since abandoned the pretense of reserving his booth. If Y/n was there, and she was almost always there, he sat with abandon at the bar itself.

"Am I?"

It was obvious she was trying to cover something up. Maybe not to anyone else but to Chuuya, who was so steeped in her words and manners of being, it was an inescapable truth. 

"Yes, you are. What happened."

Y/n shrugged.

"Nothing happened, don't worry about me."

"Don't lie to me and I wont have to worry."

"A bartender is supposed to help you with your problems, not the other way around."

"When is your break?"

Y/n cocked her head slightly to the side, an animated display of confusion. She was overcompensating.

"Whenever I want it to be."

"Take it now."

Y/n sighed, slipping her apron off and folding it onto the counter. Arms crossed, she leaned towards Chuuya.

"On my break and everything. Nothing happened. I promise."

"Then what changed?"

She shook her head.

"Something must have changed." Chuuya insisted.

"Life is just like this. Sometimes things are good and then, they empty out again."

"Is that what the other day was? Things... emptying out?"

"In part." Y/n admitted, "I wasn't doing anything to help myself though."

"Why not? You seem... together." Chuuya wasn't sure if that was the right word, nerves ate away at him, "I mean, you're doing it now, aren't you?"

"Old habits die hard."

"I see."

He took a deep drink from his glass.

"You've got five minutes." Y/n hummed, checking her watch, "Then I am back on the clock."

"When do you get off?"

"About two in the morning."

"Let me do something for you then."

Y/n raised her eyebrows.

"That's sweet, really." she pulled herself off the counter, straightening up, "I am okay though, I promise. Not to be rude but, I don't think anything you could do would help me. Besides, don't you have work tomorrow mister big time company executive?"

"I have the privilege of a loose schedule." Chuuya shrugged, "At least let me try."

"Why?"

"Because..."

Why did Chuuya offer to help? He had never really done something like that before, not since he was a kid, not since before the Mafia. Maybe it was Y/n's humanity, he thought to himself. Maybe it was because he thought if he held himself close enough to her flame, he would catch light too.

"You're my friend." he decided on saying, pushing the complex thoughts to another time, "That is what friends do."

"Oh I am honored. Bumped from bartender to friend, how did that happen, pray tell?"

There was half a smile on her face. It was small but it was real, realer than any other emotion she had shared that night.

"When you invited me over?"

"Oh yeah, that makes sense." Y/n let out a light laugh, "Speaking of that, have you given any thought to it?"

"To what?"

"The contrast."

The truth was, it had been all Chuuya had been thinking about. The only explanation he could come up with however had been one he didn't like. It was the one where Y/n saw straight through his skin to the thing living inside him and went against it with her own bright, semi-divine light. No, Chuuya didn't like that one. It was ugly. It was something he didn't want to share, especially if he ended up being wrong.

"No."

The lie was heavy on his tongue. He swore Y/n could tell. If she could however, she said nothing of it.

"Don't wait for me to get off. Think about it, and it'll make me happy enough. When you figure it out, let me know your choice."

"It's a question?"

Chuuya was utterly taken aback. That possibility had never crossed his mind.

"More like a proposition."

Y/n checked her watch, sighing.

"Thanks for the chat." she hummed, grabbing her apron and slipping it back on, "I'll see you around. Let me know if you need anything else, okay?"

Y/n hoped that he didn't think she was acting weird or, if he did, he just attributed it to her mood. The truth was, she was too nervous to even look him in the eye. It was a bold thing she had done, a trick that had surprised even her. It was a test. If he could figure out what she was asking, he would know what she was. If he knew what she was, then he would hear the question and make an informed answer. If he couldn't get it? Well, the trick also acted as a litmus test of sorts. If he couldn't get it, she was better off without him or, at least, okay with him remaining simply a friend. Or at least, she could become okay with that. It would make it easier.

Chuuya had become something she looked forwards to, a spot of sunshine to work towards in her day. It hadn't been on purpose, in fact, Y/n had actively been avoiding something like that but sometimes you don't get what you want, you get what you need and god was Y/n starting to feel like she needed him. It was embarrassing, it was frail, it was something that wasn't supposed to happen to her. She wasn't good enough for something like him to happen to her.

Little did she know, Chuuya was at his own end of the bar, his head spinning with similar thoughts. They shared a few more words before he left, a joke here, a smile in response to another's antics there. When he payed the bill, they wished one another a good night and safe travels as always. Neither one acknowledged the tension that had begun to peak its head over the hills. Both were stuck still, their feet cemented to the ground in fear because what if one saw the other - truly saw the other? What then?

Chuuya obeyed, he didn't wait for her to get off. He couldn't help, as he walked home in the soft embrace of the night, but wonder what would have happened if he did.